BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
And carrying on with me and my friend's late night/early morning movie night, putting you in the scene, I think the time was maybe around 2:30am now, maybe even later... We know how to live life to the fullest, let's just say that. Only downfall, I slept until 12 the next day, which I hate doing... We thought we would continue on with the whole centipede theme, as especially as the second one was in no way disturbing, well not to me anyway. "Taking inspiration from The Human Centipede films, the warden of a notorious and troubled prison looks to create a 500-person human centipede as a solution to his problems."
Is it really bad if I say this one was probably my favourite one out of all three of them? It was just so bad, it was actually really entertaining. The thing about these films, are they are useless, they stand no purpose, no story, apart from to try and turn your stomach as much as possible and be as grim as they can. The third one goes with that, and makes the film so bad, and so cringey with the acting and the scenes that it's actually entertaining. Shock horror, I know. The first two feel serious, which kind of goes against them as the whole thing is pointless, but, the third, someone got their thinking caps on with this one and did it right. Well, semi right, it's still not a masterpiece, but it knows it's bad this time and embraces that fully.
Human Centipede 3 is just a bad film. The two main characters are the same actors from the last two, but just as completely different characters and they even have the director in it as himself. As I have said before about the other ones, I find it very clever when they break the fourth wall, a little bit, and give a little nod to the other films. The whole thing is bad, but it knows it and that works.
The acting is bad, the gore is bad, everything about it is bad, but that's what makes it good, and in my eyes, heightens it above the last two.
It does what the other two doesn't do and takes the mickey out of itself, this film has balls. Well, the whole idea has balls, I mean, how do you even come up with an idea like this, and then sell it?! Actually, probably quite easily... But anyway, it was still sold as a film and made two more, that's ballsy. I would just say, if you want to watch one of these films, do this one. It knows what its doing.
FYI, favourite movie posters too...
Carrying on from my last review of the wrong Krampus, this was the next film, the time being on Boxing Day about 11PM maybe. We chose Bone Tomahawk because we had both heard rave reviews on it, and my dad came in and said he had seen one of the most gruesome scenes in it - after that my friend was in.
'Four men set out in the Wild West to rescue a group of captives from cannibalistic cave dwellers.' I really wanted this to be good, and I was really expecting it to be good too. As said above, I had only heard good things about it, and that scene was a pretty good start, being that it was very original and pretty damn gory. And the film as a whole started well... and this is where I start feeling bad as I didn't really enjoy this film.
It's a very slow film. Me and my friend started saying about how good the character development was, which it was, you really did get to know the characters, even if there was not that many of them. (Seriously, the town has literally ten people living in it, the same people go to the bar and that's all you see.) Character development is good, until it takes up the whole film, and then it gets to be a bit of a "let's watch things on Youtube and chat" movie, where the film takes a backseat.
And the film is pretty much the same for most if it, where the group of men travel across the country, searching for the missing wife, they stop, sleep, accidentally shoot trespassers, argue and then continue the journey.
This is the whole film apart from some changes to the beginning and then the end, obviously - which is sad, because I had been waiting for this film for months and I had heard such good things about it too.
I feel a bit bad about this review because it should be a good review, as in it's a big budget, it's a good story and it has a cast with the likes of Patrick Wilson and Kurt Russell leading it. It is shot well, like it is a big budget movie, and as much as being one doesn't mean that it will for sure be good, this one had an original storyline on its side - but I think that was where it stopped. As a whole, the story sounds good, I mean, who can go wrong with cowboys and cannibals?!
As soon as they try to find the cannibals, I lost the film, I might blame myself a bit for that, being that I wanted to see the gore and I wanted to see the cannibals - they still didn't come into it until near enough the end though. And I don't think I was the only person watching this wanting both of those.. When the gore and the cannibals came along, it was exciting and fun, but I still did need more. I was expecting a whole film of cowboys fighting cannibals but you only really got that right at the end. Up until that point, it had all been 'character development'...
I really really wanted to see this, and maybe that was why I felt a bit let down by it, I mean, it has had good reviews all round, apart from from me... Maybe I just built it up too much and wanted the cannibals too much. It's not a bad film, just that it was very slow and maybe a bit too much 'character development', as we said while watching it...
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..