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BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS

The Open House

2/27/2018

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Can I just say, this film only came out a few weeks back and I have already seen it, I am doing well!  I liked the idea of this, I liked the story, I like most things Dylan Minnette has been in, and it just sounded like a great cat and mouse/slasher film.  Before watching it, I was asking people if they had seen it, what they thought, etc, I was damn excited.  "A teenager and his mother find themselves besieged by threatening forces when they move into a new house."

My excitement kind of mellowed as I went further and further into the film, I am very very sad to say.  The Open House is okay, like it starts out okay, its the normal happy family until there is some horrible tragedy and then it all goes downhill.  The family go and stay in some lovely mountain house, with added weird loner strangers thrown in too, may I add, and to get away from the bad times they have just been through.  So they do, and at first it is as good as it can be... At first, take note of that...
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Logan and his mum move in, and pretty much straight off, things start going wrong, well not wrong, but things start moving.  Bit like living with parents.  Leave something in a 'safe place', and next thing you know, you go back to said place and it's gone.  "Mum, have you seen my -insert item-", "I think I moved it", aka, she doesn't know where she put it.  In The Open House, whatever is in the house, pretty much does that, with more sinister motives but still only moving things like cereal bowls...  Not the most sinister thing in the world if I am honest.
The Open House does have some fairly scary moments once it gets going, it's a pretty slow builder that's for sure but it did make me jump on numerous occasions.  I say jump, most are pretty cheap jump scares, such as when Logan is walking down a dark tunnel with just a torch as light, obviously something jumps out at him or at least makes a loud bang, it's a horror movie rule.  The Open House has a fair few of these running through the second half, not so much the first but in the second it's swarmed.  It does kind of make a nice change to be fair...

The Open House is one of those films that you watch but you never get fully into it, I felt this film was okay, but never really went anywhere.  At no point was I really on the edge of my seat I guess, that's not saying it was terrible, it wasn't, it was entertaining in someways but it wasn't anything special.
I have to say one thing about it though, THAT ENDING.  What is that ending??????!!!  I won't say what happens as I do not do spoilers, but I hated it, it was a bit like they just ran out of ideas.  I don't mind endings where it leaves it open but as long as it is done well.  This one was not done well.  I feel you weren't given enough to work out the ending - I feel like that sounds pretty cryptic... I am trying to say it without giving anything away! 
Overall, The Open House was alright, it could have been better, a lot better really, especially with that ending, but I don't regret watching it so that's something...
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The Loft

2/19/2018

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I feel me watching this film was full out fate - fate, I tell you!  While on one of my 'buy any cheap horror films I can get my hands on', at the Poundshop this time I feel; trips, I bought this film, The Loft.  "Five married friends who begin to suspect one another of murder after the corpse of a young woman appears in the shared inner-city loft they use for extramarital affairs and other nefarious purposes."
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​I had wanted to watch this film for ages since buying it, but felt it might be one the parents might enjoy too, aren't I just the best daughter?!  But, I waited for months as whenever I suggested it, something else was always watched instead, so, alas, The Loft was still unwatched.  Few weeks later, I got an email from good old Netflix saying they had added a film I might like - these are some of my favourite emails.  IT WAS THE LOFT THAT THEY HAD ADDED.  So, of course, I felt I had to watch it, the Netflix version, not my DVD of it, because I am a ball bag like that...

The Loft features a great cast, along the lines of James Marsden to a more hairy Channing Tatum, and with more clothes on.  It's pretty much a bit like if Cyclops, McCoy from Star Trek, Magic Mike and Cameron from Modern Family having a throw down of some sort...
Here comes my good old catchphrase, brace yourself..., "I loved this storyline!", a woman turns up dead in the group of friends locked up loft - that is pretty damn brilliant.  It's a bit like a kinky Murder on the Orient Express - don't quote me on that though, I haven't seen the new one so who nows what Kenneth Branagh added in...
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The Loft is set out in a very clever way.  You see the friends, you see them all happy, you see the dead body and before you know it, you see each friends secrets and flashbacks, showing none are as innocent as they are letting on... 
Let's be honest though, them not being innocent is in no way a shock or a spoiler - everyone saw it coming.  Twisty and turny films like this always have those innocent to start with characters who have secrets - especially when said characters have a secret loft for affairs; that's not exactly a pure thing to do.  You know each guy is going to declare their innocence and that they are virgins, (not entirely true, but close enough.), and each one will be proven wrong.

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I would say my favourite thing in The Loft are the twists... Real quick story; I went on a first date last week, pretty much after watching this, and me being me, I was excited for this film and mentioned it.  He was pretty sure he had actually seen it, shock horror, but did say he guessed some of the twists, I saw some, as there are a fair few twists running through this little beauty...  Don't say I don't treat you, getting another persons thoughts on a film, even while on a first date. 
Now, back to the films and less about my dates that I thought went well...
This film has a lot of twists, as I have just mentioned, throughout the film, you are told one thing and made to believe it, which then turns out to be a lie, and then you are told something else, but that also turns out to be a lie, it's just a game of lies.  You are made to feel like one of the friends in the group, and each lie seems to get bigger and bigger until right at the end, everything seems to explode.  I loved it - it's such a damn good ending.  I have no idea if you could work out any of it though, I hope not, I didn't try to work any of it out and I am so glad I didn't.  If you do, you might cry and regret it...

Overall, The Loft is a great unknown film.  It has a great storyline, a great cast and those damn great twists that punch you right in the face.  It doesn't rely on the twists though at all, it's a good film even before the twists, the storyline on its own can hold its own.  I would highly recommend this film and feel kind of sad it is not more well known...  Lots of bad reviews on it too, which also makes me sad - give it a chance. 
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Veronica

2/16/2018

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This is the review you have all been waiting for, and if you weren't waiting for this or thinking you were waiting for it, it was just so deep, you wanted it but just didn't know it yet.  Sounds real enough, right?! Right.  This review is on the so called 'scariest film on Netflix', so called, may I add... "Madrid, 1991. A teen girl finds herself besieged by an evil supernatural force after she played Ouija with two classmates."  ​

I had to watch this, had to, no other options, I had to, it was a must, and I tell you why.  Veronica is meant to be the scariest film on Netflix, and people are watching it and not being able to sleep and one person, apparently, couldn't watch it all the way through at one time - and had to stop it to get himself back on track.  I wish this film effected me like this, I really want to find a film that scares me that much - but Veronica is not that film.  Trying to say this in the nicest way possible, I was fairly let down by this film.  I wanted to sweat during this film, and I wanted to be so scared that when you jump you laugh like the evil queen from Snow White...  I did not get that.
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Veronica came out, I think, last Wednesday and I sat down and watched it the next day, I was that keen.  Mum was off that day too, and somehow I talked her into joining me, even though I also told her the reason I was so keen to watch it is because it's meant to be so damn scary.  Bless her, she watched it with me, she committed to it with me, she was stressed at the beginning but she still joined me.  Shout out to my mum scaring herself silly for me. 
​Anyway, we are watching the film, and it's okay, it's a fairly good storyline, it's well acted and made, but that's it so far.  Its got some tension running through it, some good tension, but it just wasn't that scary. 
​Wanna know a little secret? We even cheered a little we made it through half way, as we knew one poor sod hadn't... Yup, one of a kind right there. 

WE DID MAKE IT THROUGH IT THOUGH.  Me and mum made it through all of Veronica, and with no jumps at all, none.  We did not jump once.  We had to stop it at one point to eat, and mum was very keen to finish it... only to nod off about ten minutes later while watching it...  Veronica is a slow film, it's kind of a slow burner, but in my eyes, it kind of burns its way out, the ending just wasn't as big as I wanted I guess.  And mother did fall asleep during it, so that is also saying something.
​I wasn't a fan of this film, and I think some of the problem was with how much hype it had behind it.  It's not a bad film at all, I just wanted more than it gave me - most would disagree with me though, from what social media is telling me... It is a good teacher and teaches you not to use a Quiji board... even if the main characters don't listen... shame.
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The Awakening

2/13/2018

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I feel like this should be one of my catchphrases I say it so often, I really liked the sound of the storyline - I really did.  "In post-World War I England a writer and sometime-ghost hunter (Rebecca Hall) investigates a reported haunting at a boys boarding school."  See! Doesn't it sound like a dream?!

The Awakening, I feel, is one of those films that I need to watch again, and I will tell you why.  Not because I loved it so so much, (doesn't mean I didn't like it though.), but because I feel I missed some of it.  I was watching it all, and when it was over, I felt like I wasn't fully with the story and the twists, I don't know why, but I missed parts.  I did not know the spirit she was talking about was her fiance for one, and that was a pretty big part of the story...  I will be re-watching this, and making sure I get everything this time.  Fingers crossed...
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The thing I really liked about The Awakening, was the fact she went after fake ghosts and people, like certain 'mediums' on TV, who tell people they can talk to and contact the dead.  The film actually starts off with a really good opening of her catching people in the act - similar to the episode Seance Time of Inside No 9.  It's a very good opener.
Following on from the good opener, The Awakening is not a bad film at all.  It's fun, it pretty much follows with horror movie cliche, such as looking into a very murky river/lake, as you do, and something grabs you or just dark rooms and children laughing, all those old chestnuts.  They don't make the film bad at all though, I like those cliches!

The Awakening wasn't a bad film, it was fun and entertaining, what more could you want from a film to waste a few hours to?!  It wasn't the best I've seen, but I enjoyed it and I will be watching it again to really take it all in - I did like the twist..  Love a good twist and this had that.  I remember that much.
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Dark

2/11/2018

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Okay, so, this is a little different than my normal reviews, and why is that?  This is probably the most brief review on a TV show ever, as I would easily review TV shows like I do films, narrow down every single episode with a review. But this will be a very brief review on a tv show that me and dad have just finished watching - that tv show is Dark.  Dark in name and slightly dark in natural.  "A family saga with a supernatural twist, set in a German town, where the disappearance of two young children exposes the relationships among four families."

I had heard this was super good and super dark and just something that I really wanted in my life... I was wrong.  I didn't like it...  At first, I was very very intrigued, both me and my dad were, as the first episode did start well.  There were lots and lots of mysteries going on and lots of questions throughout, enough to keep you guessing and wanting to know more, but not giving anything really away.  The way a show should be and will be if it wants to keep you watching.
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That is probably the best thing about this show, the first episode, after that, I think it went downhill... I feel me and my dad are alone thinking this too as across the internet it seems to get very high ratings and good reviews.  I just did not get it. 
I feel bad as I do feel I missed something, but part of it I feel was it had way too much going on at one time, like it started off with some Stephen king's IT's feelings to it, with young children going missing.  That story was pretty good, and then a dead child appears in the woods, but it's not the last child that goes missing - I was into that!  That was pretty early on in the show too, I wanted to know who this kid was and why he seemed to have been teleported forward and killed. 
After that, nahhh, I was more lost than when you decide to try a new supermarket and you have no idea where anything in. Well then it went into time travel and even more characters and I had no chance - I pretty much almost held up a white flag.

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Know what dark did to me?  Me and dad had to go onto Wikipedia to see if we could understand it even more, and nope, literally just told us what we had already seen. 
I did like the idea of the story and how it did show the different times, such as the characters in modern times and then when they were younger.  But I just felt each part the stories didn't go anywhere, like nothing was really cleared up.  and before you say anything, I know it leaves it as a cliffhanger for series 2, but still, at least one thing should be cleared up in the first series, and I didn't feel anything was.

I didn't enjoy dark, I feel I am a minority in this and hey, I tried, all I can say is I wont be watching the second series... maybe it was too much for my gore loving brain to take... or maybe it just was not for me, who knows. 

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The Dyatlov Pass Incident

2/5/2018

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Want to know something that probably won't shock you?  I bought this film for a pound...  I am just that good that I have a massive dvd collection, yet, it didn't cost half as much as it looks.  See, not just a pretty face am I.  One thing I might not  have mentioned about me though, is that I pretty much love mysteries, and especially when they are based on true stories, this film is one of those.  "A group of 5 students go the location of the infamous "dyatlov pass incident", to make a documentary but things take a turn for the worse to reveal the secrets as to what happened there."

When I bought this I bought it with a few others, (the old grab a whole and pile them up), and just saw it as a cheap horror film that I hadn't seen or owned - so I didn't really know much about it.  Only when I got it home did I get really really excited about it.  I knew this film, I had heard about this film and I knew of the true story behind it.  Films like this could definitely be considered educational, righttt?  All I can say, is after the film finished, me and dad were on google googling the poo out of the true story behind this all...
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I did actually really like this film, I was definitely into it, and especially as before watching it, I kind of knew the story to it.  The mystery of the missing climbers really has always intrigued me and made me wonder, but I definitely do not have as big balls as the characters in this film.  I would never recreate the original climbers and their journey, being that they literally died in horrible, mysterious ways - one person had their tongue ripped out, just fyi...  The film is basically you watching the clips from their cameras and news reports on how they have also gone missing - clever right?!  Clever but also very very stupid, you follow the path of people who went missing and died in this mysterious way, you probably will follow the same path, and without any spoilers, they follow the same path, with more fun mysteries thrown in.

I did like this film, I really did, apart from when another mystery comes into it, one that I won't mention as it might count as a spoiler, and it all gets a little CGI and a bit like a bad Resident Evil game...  I lost it at that part and really wasn't a fan - howeverrrrrrr, it did pull it back with a pretty good twist too.  Overall, a pretty damn good film and one I really did enjoy.

OH, and it is also sometimes called Devil's Pass.
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The Facility

2/3/2018

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Ohhhhhhhh.  I really wanted this film to be good!  "In a remote medical facility, seven strangers participate in a medical trial for a new drug. As it courses through their systems, unexpected side effects cause several of the patients to go into a murderous rage."  Look!  How fun does that sound?! And it's an all British cast too, I love British horror films, I just feel one with them.  But I did not get that horror movie happy ending here.

The Facility started out really well, the story was well built and the characters all seemed to be thought out and have layers, and I was really into it.  Then the rest of the film comes along...
I just kind of lost it to be fair, I couldn't even tell you why to be fair, I just stopped believing it and just didn't really care for it.  the characters too, I lost the love for them, I stopped being bothered about anyone surviving and I actually do enjoy wanting characters to come out on top in films.  it's like watching a football game but not supporting a team, it kind of takes some of the fun and adrenaline out of it.
I did like the parts in the film when the drug starts changing people, and each person reacts differently, which I thought was one of the cleverest things in this whole movie, and one of the most realistic parts to the movie.  I would never do a drugs test, and it's movies like this that are the reason behind my thinking.  they are unknown drugs, and are being tested for probably one of the first ever times, how on earth do you know what it will do to you?!  I feel this film is pretty damn realistic, or at least what I think happens in some cases with people trying unknown drugs - or at least what they don't tell you happens.  to be fair though, those thought might have just been me watching too many horror films...  
the facility was an okay film.  it had its moments, as I said above, but overall I felt it lots its way halfway through - and I have no idea why.  one minute I liked it, the next, I was bored.  good try though, and a good story idea.
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Come Out and Play

2/1/2018

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I saw the advert for this film ages ago, like literally ages ago, and on my monthly CEX scout out, I came across Come Out and Play for 50p... 50p!  So I had to get it of course.  "A couple take a vacation to a remote island - their last holiday together before they become parents. Soon after their arrival, they notice that no adults seem to be present - an observation that quickly presents a nightmarish reality."

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I sat down with mother to watch this, after giving her a few options to choose from, and it wasn't a bad choice to be fair.  I loved the storyline to it to be fair, it sounded very similar to The Children, which is a film I adore and will literally watch anytime it is on TV.  This had a similar story, no one around, and the kids become killers - always a good day out.  Turns out, I liked the story more than the actual film itself...
​The film was slow, mum had a loo break at about 43 minutes through it, and by that point, 0nly a few things had happened, one killing maybe, and just the couple walking round and chasing the weird kids.  Did I mention I hate kids too?  Especially when they act like spoilt little brats like these..  These kids are annoying, like they stare, and they giggle and they laugh - and obviously then they try and kill all adults.
​It's films like these that make me feel old, and make me realise I am an adult as they would try and kill me and would not expect me as one of their own..

I find most kids annoying to start with, let alone when they are trying to kill adults and these kids will not stop.  The whole time they are hiding, or staring, running away laughing or just battering in some old mans head.  The couple in the film could not kill any of the kids, could not do it.  These kids were literally running after them, in the most annoying way can I say, and trying to brutally murder them, and they could not even knock the kids out.  Me and my mum were having a running conversation throughout the film of if we could kill the kids - and yes, we could, easily. 
​Does that make us bad people? Nahhhh.  If someone is obviously going to try and kill me, and has been for a good while, I am going to fight back, I don't care if it's a child or not, if it's me or them, I am going to fight.  Sorry. Not sorry. 
Come Out and Play is an alright film, it keeps the tension well, but by the end of it, Beth was getting massively on my nerves, massively and it was quite slow.  It's one of those films where they try and make tension but it goes on for just a little bit too long...  It was entertaining, but I feel I for sure would have done better in the situation than them both...  In a non weird way, I would have at least gone home when I realised something was wrong, on that boat and straight back home...
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    Meg

    Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies.. 

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  • The face behind the mask
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