BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
This was, yet again, a late night movie where I wanted to turn my tired brain off, and this film looked simple enough. And I was right, it's a very very simple movie. 'A young graduate student is tormented by a stalker who hacks into her electronic devices and monitors her every move.' I watched this film last night, and I still am trying to work out if I had watched it before... I just recognise parts of it but didn't really remember most of it.
If I have seen this film before, the fact that I don't remember it, probably doesn't say much for it...
Ratter is an alright film. The story isn't orignal, it is filmed all on items like mobile phones, laptop webcams and what looked like a PS4 style game, all merged into one film. It's a very similar film to films such as Unfriended and The Den - but sadly, they are better.. Ratter isn't awful, it's just not that fun a film, you don't really warm to the characters, or the story. I think the best part is the fact it's all filmed on technology, and I always find that an interesting way of doing a film. But that is about it..
I feel bad saying "That is about it", because I hate putting down people's hard work, but it's not a standout film at all. It's not really nerve wracking, it's not tense, you don't really care for the characters and to be fair, I just turned my brain off and watch it. Just to pass the time.
Ratter isn't a bad film if you literally just want to pass the time, and don't really care about the story or anything - so if that's what you want, this will be perfect for you.
I will say so, (so I am building a type of shit sandwich..), I think the film as a whole ended in a fairly good way. Just a warning, skip this paragraph if you don't want to know the ending.. I thought it was a fairly shocking ending to be, mainly the fact that her mum was on webcam to her at the time when the person attacked her - like that's an awful thing. I thought the ending was acting well, the screams for the mum killed me, and also woke up my whole house as this was about 12:30 in the morning... It was pretty good, and ended it fairly well, making you feel pretty damn uncomfortable.. But, of course there is a but, it was a cheap ending - and by that I mean nothing was tied. You never found out who was hacking her, or why or anything. Lose ends, are still very very lose.
And you're spoiler safe. So, finishing off, Ratter is not that good a film, if you want something that is watchable with your brain off, look no futher. If you want something similar but better, The Den or Unfriended. I'm so good at shit sandwiches..
Finallyyyyyyyyyyy, The Cottage was on TV! 'In a remote part of the countryside, a bungled kidnapping turns into a living nightmare for four central characters when they cross paths with a psychopathic farmer and all hell breaks loose.' I have wanted to see this film for ages, probably years, and it just has never been...until now. I SAW IT. And, I have to say, it was worth it..
It was worth it, wasn't the best film, like it wasn't like when I first saw Stitches and watched it twice in one week, but it was still worth it. I mainly was excited by the cast, the cast that consisted of Reece Shearsmith and Andy Serkis as the leads - I love both of those men. Especially Reece Shearsmith, Inside No 9 is one of the most underrated TV shows that has ever hit the TV, it's just genius. But back to The Cottage...
As mentioned before, I have wanted to see this film for years, why this one film, I have no idea, something about it just made me want to watch it lots. I am glad I saw it, but I think I could have waited for a bit longer to have seen it and I wouldn't of been that sad. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, I just mean it was nothing special compared to other horror films...
The Cottage is an entertaining film, its got gore, its got violence, its got a scary killer and its got the victims. It's an all round entertaining horror film, which is not at all a bad thing, but it just doesn't stand out compared to other films like it. It doesn't really have anything original about it - it has got some wit, and some good gore though, I'll give it that. The gore is pretty damn good actually, I didn't really finish this film wanting more blood, because the kills were very good, but that is probably the best thing about it. The cast and the gore that is. And the fact that when I watched this, we had just set up our new, bigger 4K TV... Hello, crystal clear blood and guts...
The Cottage is an alright film, as I've said before, it's entertaining, but it did nearly change that for me, I nearly was very impressed by it.. Now, one thing you may or may not know about me is that I love a good ending. If a film has been awful, a brilliant ending might actually change thoughts on that awful film for me. The Cottage had a good ending. Spoilers here until the next paragraph. Peter is the only survivor, and after 'killing' the Farmer, he makes it into the safety of the basement..or so he thinks. Turns out, the Farmers' crazy wife and kids live down there, and they want Peter for dinner. I thought this was brilliant, I did not expect it at all, and the fact that it wasn't a happy ending but still had a bit of humour to it - YES PLEASE. Anddddddd, then the credits roll, and low and behold, there is another ending. Will this be better and carry on to the last ending? Will it heck. It ruins the ending. The other bad guys arrive and the Farmer jumps out of nowhere, (good try, Peter with the killing him there...), and the screen goes black.
I hate most endings like this, especially following a pretty clever ending. Damn you wanting to follow the big budget films and all there 'after the credits' endings. No!
The Cottage is okay, you can watch it and you won't feel you've wasted hours you'll never get back, but you won't go around shouting from the roof that you've seen it. It has a good, pretty original storyline, and is entertaining - and there is nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with watching this film as long as you're not expecting a masterpiece.
Yes, this film really does have this many titles to it... But it doesn't make it a good film... 'Two young American women go on a Mediterranean vacation and uncover the watery lair of a killer mermaid hidden beneath an abandoned military fortress. What was once a carefree adventure becomes a deadly fight for survival.' This was a pretty dreadful film to be fair, like dreadful.
I watched this late at night, when there was nothing else on and I was in that mood where I didn't want to go to bed but there was bugger all on. I am glad I watched it late at night, I think I would have felt I'd wasted the day watching it when I could have been productive..
The thing about Killer Mermaid, is that there is one mermaid, as the name says, but I wouldn't call her that much a killer... Yes, she does kill people, but she's more a timid lazy killer - it takes her an hour to come on screen. AN HOUR. The film is called Killer Mermaid, should be called Only Half the Film Includes a Semi Timid Killer Mermaid...
People die throughout the film, a few people do anyway, but really, if you weren't told the title or what the film was about, this town could have just been really unlucky with deaths. Nothing is really shown death wise, if it was in real life, this mermaid would never have been found. People would have just thought that people just popped their clogs in normal ways, like drowning or being drawn and quartered right at the end...
I am glad I watched this film at night... It is pretty bad. Pretty bad? Very bad - like, yeah, watch it if you want a laugh. It's a normal bad film, bad acting, ok gore, like I'm a gore fan so any gore is fine by me, but no killer mermaid until an hour in! That is not right! Yes, don't show the killer straight away, (unless you're making an episode of Columbo...), but don't leave it like an hour without anything - unless it's really well done, like Jaws!
Yeah, Killer Mermaid, you didn't do it for me - I wanted a scary mermaid movie, but thats not what I got. It past the time but that was about it... Next time, just show the killer a wee bit more please!
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..