BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Jeez, this film keeps coming back to bite me... A family try to save their unconscious son from being trapped by evil spirits. And by bite me, I mean majority of people like this film and are surprised I don't. So, everytime someone says it, I re-watch it, and everytime, I regret it as it never gets any better and I never like it. Never.
I just find it an incredibly slow and boring film, and I find that after every viewing I have of it. No matter what anyone says to me, about how good or scary it is, I still find it a horrible film - and a bad horrible. There are good horrible films, where you can watch them, and find them entertaining, but not this one.. No no.
I feel like this is going to be a super short review as I really don't think much of it, but I have to give it credit as it does have some very well done and scary moments. The main parts being when Patrick Wilson's characters goes in and tries to find his son, he comes across some people in the dark, who find it insanely enjoyable just to stand and smile. In the dark, just standing and then smiling, all in one move - call me a wuss, but that is the stuff I find a little creepy. But that was about the only part that I had a good thing to say...
I feel cruel on this review, so I shall just cut this here. I didn't like this film, it just couldn't keep me interested. I couldn't remember some of it, so I re-watched it, and it still didn't do anything for me. It had a few clever and fairly scary moments, but not enough for me to enjoy the film as a whole. Guess me and Insidious are just going to have a hate relationship..
Please, don't come and haunt me lipstick face demon/Darth Maul... I really like Saw too, all of them, not so much Paranormal Activity, which makes this even sadder...
After a lovely weekend with my Northern family, I am back, sad to be back but happy to be back at the reviews. And the first film to start me off, as I heard rumours of a sequel, (which I would love), The Strangers.
The Strangers is about a couple who get home and suddenly become overrun by some intruders in inhuman masks. The film as a whole, I wasn't blown away by, it has some scary moments, but overall, it is a little slow. Now, I know that makes it sound like I hate this movie, but you are actually wrong - I didn't mind it that much.
The whole reason I didn't mind it was the story, a story that I and a fair few people would find terrifying, and this is why I liked it, because it is a scary thought. People literally choose your place with no motive at all, and just decide to torment you for the whole evening, even more - that is a terrifying idea to think, and could be taken as quite a realistic one too, especially compared to some movie plots.
I was so excited for this film, I love a good movie that doesn't just use jump scares, and this film doesn't, it's just a little slow, that's the downside of it. There are some parts in the film where nothing really happens, such as Liv Tyler just making it through the house on the floor for a good ten or so minutes. When the scares come, they come well, but the build up is a little meh.
I like this film more than I hate it, let's say that.
Now, I think the title could be considered a spoil alert in this case with this film... but it does throw some curve balls at you, if you take the title literally. Some might also might not consider it a horror, buttttt, it is too good/bad a film and review to miss out, and I had a recommendation to do it from someone I watched it with. So here goes..
Raptor Ranch is about a place called Fossil Ranch, that is found to be a secret breeding ground for dinosaurs, (not just raptors, spoiler alert! Shock horror!), after the dinosaurs escape and go on the run for fresh meat.
I'm not going to beat around the bush here, when I watched this, I was with friends and we watched three bad films, on purpose, and this was the first one. This is a bad film, I won't lie. But is an enjoyable bad, yep, I saved it. It is an enjoyable bad, you already know it's not going to be a masterpiece before you've even put it in the DVD player, (the case was one of those moving 3D ones..).
It starts off with a random native American lady, and then flies straight into the present day, and you meet a whole load of characters who had nothing to do with the lady at the beginning. Saying that, I think one might have, but the film is that bad, you don't really take notice of a plot. The film to you is dinosaurs and who is your favourite character/eye candy, those are the two things you think about in this, not a plot, or even what the hell the lady at the beginning was doing, just dinosaurs and character.
Saying all of that though, I am making it sound like this is a horrible film, but it's not, it's not amazing but we had a good time watching this, and that makes a good film sometimes. I don't feel I wasted an hour and a half at all. The characters are mainly enjoyable and likable, and even the villains, well, you can't hate them too much. And the dinosaurs are nowhere near close to being good CGI, and there are some massive plot holes, (like how the dinosaurs keep changing size..), but it is a lovable film. The characters you bond with, lots, even when your favourite dies, (Poor Lucas and maybe Little Willie, I'm not good at names and I can't find any photos of the characters...), and who doesn't love anything with dinosaurs. I hate coffee but I would buy a coffee if you got a dinosaur toy or something with it. Dinos sell. I feel I have gone of course here...
What I am trying to say, don't go out of your way to see this, because there are plenty better, but if it is there, go for it, won't do you any harm.. As the kids say, YOLO... Eurgh, I feel dirty..
Now this is a little bit of a different review, mainly because it is a littleeeeee different from other films being it is about 90% shorter.. Yep, this review is all about a short film called Charlie.
I have recently gotten into short horror films, accidentally may I add. I came across an article mentioning the scariest of them, and then ended up pausing everything and watching each and everyone of them, this is how I also found Charlie. Charlie is about someone who is tracked down by a creature from an electronic chain letter, you know, the ones everyone ignores. Yep, this makes you think differently about them all...
Charlie was made by a company called Mordue, all put together by a talented bloke called Luke Mordue, who I admire highly with all he has achieved, being I have watched a few of his films, and never found a bad one. Sir Ian McKellen andddddd The Kevin Spacey Company both helped him out to start with, and they know their thing too, don't just help anyone those two.
Mordue made two others that I loved, The Reaper and Monsters in the Dark, but neither of them over took my love for Charlie.
Charlie is done so so well. Short horror films are insanely underrated, they take so much time and thought, being that a short film tends to be only about ten minutes and they have to fit everything into that time. Luke Mordue does this perfectly, down to a T, he fits in everything a good horror needs, characters, suspense, terrifying imagery, (aka, Charlie himself), and a brilliant story that does so well and cuts into a fear we all have but won't admit. The fear of chain letters and ignoring them.
Charlie scared me, more than majority of horrors I have seen, and that is a difficult thing to do, Charlie himself did, how tense the whole thing is did, and even the phone call to the police did. So I praise you Mordue, well done. Well done, and keep it up.
The best way I feel I could describe It Follows, in the easiest, most basic way, is that Jay, the main character, has a scarier than normal walking STD following her. The whole premise is that Jay has sex with her boyfriend and is then followed by an unknown being, forever chasing her until she passes it on, aka, through sex.
That description sounds like what happens if a person gets an STD, which in a way, is what this film is about. But, unlike an STD, this is enjoyable, very enjoyable. Which is something that surprised me as it is quite an independent film, and sometimes I don't get on well with those. I feel bad saying this as I do tend to put them all into one bag, but a lot of them I don't tend to enjoy, this one though, I was wrong.
It Follows is a pretty eerie film, it really taps into the fear of the unknown and your fears of being followed, and followed by something slow but determined. Or is that just me? This film reminded me of a zombie movie in a way, but with living humans instead, just slowly walking towards people, always there. This is what I am scared of, and not a lot scares me, nothing really, but zombies and things moving slowly have always done that job well. It Follows master that tone, and really makes you paranoid, being that what is after you and following you could be anyone and anywhere, and sometimes it literally is. It appears on a roof, in a pool, and even breaks through a door to get to Jay. Now that is a little creepy, and shows he means business.
Even though the whole premise sounds like a walking STD, it is a good film, and you soon lose that idea and story once you start watching it. Even the first scene catches your attention massively, and it leaves you wanted more, even the ending does. It's nothing really like an STD really... And for that reason, watch it.
Now for something a little different, and by different, I mean shite. 'Based on the true events of the only case in US History where a spirit caused the death of a man.' An American Haunting is a film I don't remember much about, as I hated it.
The film as a whole starts out as not too shabby, like it's watchable, it's a normal story of something happening in the future and then finding out it had something to do with some big event in the past. Someone is haunted in the future so we head back in time to find out that's how it all started. And that's in a way where it all goes wrong...
Apart from the big cast, (that should have made it better.), there is nothing original with this film at all, nothing. You could pull any haunted film sent in the olden days from a shelf and it would look and feel like this.
But I know what you're thinking, "this doesn't sound like you hate it so far"... That's because I didn't hate it up until this point, the point the film does went down the drain with me was the ending. Up until the ending, I didn't love it but I didn't hate it. AFTER THE ENDING I LOATHED IT.
If you don't want to know the ending, skip to the paragraph below NOW, the ghost wants the young girls virginity, and you see it taking it. That is the ending. It's a little like the scene from Scary Movie when she gives the ghost a blow job, only this is serious and is just wrong. RUINED IT. I would say ruined it completely, but it wasn't that good to start with..
So there, you go, my first shite film review... I do not recommend this, go watch Casper instead..
As this is my first ever review on my brand new website, I thought I would start it with a bang, and a film and, hopefully, review, you will not find disappointing. An American Werewolf in London.
An American Werewolf in London is my all time favourite horror film, why? It has it all, every little single part you would want from a horror film, that's why. Two American backpackers are taking a tour of England, when one gets attacked by an unknown beast. That is the basic premise of it, but as I said, it has so much, so much more.
Not only, is it a scary movie, (I mean c'mon, the guy turns into a werewolf each full moon and goes on a murderous rampage, what's scarier than that?), it also features one of the best bromances and romances in a movie, and I don't mean one of the normal 'guy saves girl, they fall in love' horror romance/bromance...
Of course, people remember the romance between David and Alex, mainly the shower scene, and because it is a super young Jenny Agutter.. But get a load of David and Jack! Not only do they do a trip around England, (and that could have turned into some bad Duke of Edinburgh trip..), Jack also comes back from the dead/limbo to talk to his friend. It's not to tell him the best news, but he still comes back just for him...
The horror through this film is spot on, it mixes horror and comedy like a genius, it had enough jump scares to keep you on your toes and the gore, is insane. The film won an oscar for the werewolf transformation FOR GOD SAKE! If that doesn't show how good it is, well then, there is no getting through. And, and, years later it still holds up against CGI now andddddd, looks better.
So there, my favourite film. And my first review on here. So, 1, I hope I have persuaded you to see this movie, and 2, to come back and read my stuff!
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..