BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Due to the lockdown, I have finally gotten around to finishing Marianne on Netflix after hearing so many good things about it all over the internet. "A famous horror writer who is lured back to her hometown discovers that the evil spirit who plagues her dreams is now wreaking havoc in the real world."
And why did it take me so damn long to finally watch this?! One of the best horror programmes I have ever seen, ever. For one, fell in love with the characters from the start - especially Emma, (talk about a girl crush!). And I really did 'ship' Emma and Camille...sadly, we will never see if they ever happen - Emille, or Camima maybe - but I will get onto why we won't soon. All such great and thought out characters - could Emma's parents be any more creepy and don't even get me started on the scary old woman who seems to pop up all over the internet when you type this show in.
To be fair, I can't not mention her - she's damn creepy! I would say terrifying but nothing scares me, so it'll have to be creepy. But honestly, 10 being creepy and 1 being a baby animal - she's at least a 15. Everything about her is skin crawling. Her voice, her stares - the way she stares at people, I cannot deal with it, she was one of the best things in this whole show, and that's saying something as I don't really have anything bad to say about it.
Honestly, I loved this show so much, Emma is a great main character as she is likable but also a little shit and is not a perfect person in anyway, and the humour in this show is outstanding - it really does cover horror and humour so well! Perfectly well.
Now I shall move onto the two cons I have about this show:
1. I wanted more demonic faces! In the first episode, you see a guy with a horrible smile on his face, and honestly, it got to me, I find those kinds of things super creepy. Like the faces out of Insidious, hated the films but loved those faces.
2. This one is my big con - MARIANNE HAS BEEN CANCELLED AFTER JUST THIS ONE SERIES. WHY!? It is such a good show, and really could do so well for horror. I do get why some said that it had an ending that was tied up nicely, but I also say to those people WHAT ABOUT THE TWIST?! I am very very sad that it won't be back, and it takes me back to when I had to say goodbye to my beloved Santa Clarita Diet...
Godammit Netflix, teasing us with all this horror.
Honestly though, please don't let Marianne being cancelled stop you from watching it, it's too good to miss!
Look at me, watching even more classics! "A circus' beautiful trapeze artist agrees to marry the leader of side-show performers, but his deformed friends discover she is only marrying him for his inheritance. How will they stop him?"
I have had this film on DVD for years, and just never got round to watching it. I had an evening on my own and I thought I would bite the bullet and go for it - especially as it's such a short film. Literally about an hour or so.
I always feel so bad saying I don't really like classic films, but I didn't really like Freaks... I just couldn't really get into it! I found myself kind out watching the clock and actually googling about the people in the film, instead of fully watching it.
That's the thing about Freaks, I found the people in it much more interesting! Honestly, the people in this are hands down the stars of the show - they are incredible. What they go through and have probably gone through due to being different and also how they have overcome their differences - insane! Take Prince Randian, he is in the film able to light a cigarette with no arms, he is a torso! It's incredible to watch and I urge you to Google everyone out of it, just to see it for yourself.
I don't know why I didn't like this film, I love the whole 'freakshow' idea, and I liked the story of this, but I really just could not get into this, no matter how hard I tried. I did like the ending, that infamous chicken ending, but that was about it. If nothing else though, please look into the people behind the film! They deserve to be known.
Good old murdering technology, eh? "A seventeen year old girl forms a co-dependent relationship with an artificial intelligence on her phone and goes on a murderous rampage." Well, I say murderous technology, more like peer pressure on a teenager who goes along with it.
Yep, teenager finds a phone, decides to keep it - because that's not stealing - and it basically leads her to murder people. How could an app do that I hear you say? No idea. Well, it basically acts like her mum who died, and so maybe she feels like she's doing it for her...? Cassie also has pretty shit friends around her, and is just not having a good time, so you can kind of sympathize why she picks up the phone and why she keeps it close, as it does act like her mum - but that's no excuse to murder people. If my mum, even though she is sitting next to me and I can see her and don't need an app to talk to her, asked me to murder someone, I would call her crazy and maybe keep an eye on her...
Murdering people, I feel, is a lot of effort and I feel takes more than just peer pressure off an app/an app that you think is a dead loved one.
Even though Cassie not the most best person and is definitely not the smartest, she hands down deserves better people in her life - looking at her boyfriend and best friend mostly! I feel there would be a lot less murders in this film if she just had some supportive friends. And a lot less funerals and therapy for everyone else involved.
I feel with AMI, I was expecting something really bad, and to be fair, it looked professional, it wasn't awful in normal aspects like acting and effects, and even though the whole idea is laughable, I was into the film. I hate to admit but I did get into it...
Overall, it wasn't brilliant, but it pulled me in and I didn't feel I wasted any time watching it - I think the short time of it helped... Only takes about 75 minutes to watch - if that's not tempting enough to make you want to watch it, nothing will.
I LOVE THIS FILM SO MUCH. There, I said it - I LOVE GIRLS WITH BALLS. "After their van breaks down in the middle of nowhere, the women of a volleyball team must fight for their lives against a group of degenerate hunters."
Honestly, there isn't many cons to this film at all - actually, none. I loved it, so so much. It's such a breath of fresh air, not only for horror films as a whole, but also women empowerment. This whole film is about women fighting for their lives and kicking some butt, and it is great. Fun fact as well - Billie Lourd and Kristen Bell do the voices for the dubbed version - just in case you wanted to know!
Looking on the internet, I am shocked to see this film is covered in really bad reviews! I don't get why and I don't want to see why. This should be taken as a lesson, take all reviews with a HUGE pinch of salt - just because one person does not like something, doesn't mean you'll be the same.
I just watched the trailer of this, and decided I was into it - and that was it - I went for it. And I am so so glad I did.
In my eyes, it covers everything you would want in a horror movie. Comedy, humour, great gore - and so far, I am happy, a great story line, great characters and also a singing man. Yes, a singing man. A man who narrates through song while sitting on the top of their tour bus.
I have nothing bad to say about Girls with Balls, and I just hope you take my word, ignore the bad reviews, and give this little gem a chance. There, short and sweet review right there. Getting my point across in few words. Now, GO WATCH.
So, I am a fan of the old one, especially Church... And it turns out, I am also a fan of the new one... "Dr. Louis Creed and his wife, Rachel, relocate from Boston to rural Maine with their two young children. The couple soon discover a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near their new home."
I think that everyone pretty much knew that they changed a big part of the film compared to the new one, so I don't feel it is a spoiler, so I shall say it, if you don't want to know, skip this high lighted part -
I didn't mind the change. I didn't really think changing which child was killed made a huge impact in the film, but I did think having the older child die made it a little bit more realistic. I say realistic, it's like my thoughts on the original Child's Play, I never really liked that film as I always found it funny that no one could ever fight Chucky off, even though all he was was a plastic doll. In the original Pet Sematary, Gabe is killed and he is a small child, a toddler, and yet, he ends up killing people. In the newer one, Ellie dies, and she is older and bigger and it feels more likely that she could maybe kill people more than a toddler. Just my thoughts. I feel this helped me get into the new one more - it kind of could be more possible - even though I know it is all fiction...
I didn't mind the new one much at all. I had heard mixed things, mainly bad things, but I feel that is mainly due to the fact that it is a remake - I really don't mind remakes though! Sometimes they can add things to the film that weren't able to be added when it was first made.
I didn't feel this one was much better than the first, but that doesn't mean I hated it, I just liked them both the same in a way. Both have their pros and cons - con of the new one was Zelda was not as scary... She honestly creeped me out the first time and for her not to be as creepy in the new one was a bit sad. The new one still has its moments though, pretty good jump scares - shout out to you dumb waiter - and a change of cat. (I like looking at cats - not a fan of them dead though...).
I did like the new one, the main thing I didn't really like was the twist ending, which, like normal, I won't say. I mean right at the end, I didn't see the point really and I didn't see where it would go. Obviously, you'll probably never know as it is right at the end, and you don't need to be thinking what happens after a film ends, but still, it makes you think.
My recommendation for these films? Just watch them both!
This type of story seems to be super popular during recent times, and to be fair, I am not mad with it. "A masked serial killer turns a horror-themed amusement park into his own personal playground, terrorizing a group of friends while the rest of the patrons believe that it is all part of the show."
I am a big fan of the whole 'fake amusement park' kind of thing, and did Hell Fest disappoint? I wouldn't say it disappointed, I just wasn't fully blown away. It is what you were expecting really. The characters as a whole are okay, typical teenagers in a horror film, and with the added cocky one - obviously. The script is the same, but I think with a film like this, you won't watch it for an exciting script. You watch it as you like the idea of the story and are pretty sure it's just going to be a simple and easy horror to watch - and you'd be right.
Hell Fest is fun, and is a story close to my heart in some ways. I love scare attractions like in this film, less of the rides and amusement parks mind you, and more of the walking around mazes and such. I tend to do one every year, and the same one too - it's that good. So watching this, it felt like home in a way, and also made me think - some of the park uses the actual dead bodies of victims as props and no one realises - what if this happened in real is where my brain went! I mean, I have heard of stories of real bodies being used for Halloween decorations but it does make you think - in a weird way - I'll stop now before someone sends me off to talk to someone...
I liked Hell Fest, I really did. It's simple and fun and sometimes that is all you need in a horror film. It's also entertaining so I don't think you'd find yourself regretting watching it or clock watching. I liked it, and I liked the ending - I wouldn't call it a twist, but it's a nice little shock, right at the end. I also do really like Bex Taylor-Klaus and her character - good old comedy character right there - just what you want in a film like this!
I am a huge fan of Stephen King - huge fan - but damn, some of his stuff is weird. Cue, In the Tall Grass... "A brother and sister enter a field of tall grass to rescue a boy, but they soon realize they cannot escape and something evil lurks in the grass."
I feel with In the Tall Grass, you don't get what you are expecting, mainly due to the fact that you have no idea what you are in for! This might be a bit of a tricky review to do as I am not sure what is a spoiler in this film, and what isn't. So be warned, this might be a short little review compared to my normal one...
I was so damn intrigued by this, so intrigued by this, I mean, the storyline itself is basically people stuck in some grass... I really wondered where it would go and how someone made a film of people being stuck in some grass.
Without giving too much away, In The Tall Grass really does give me a Triangle feel- the film I mean, not the shape. But again, I don't want to say too much due to spoilers!
To be safe, I am only saying things that are included in the short information section above from IMDB. I liked the fact that it is a cat and mouse film, but set in a completely different place to what you'd normally expect. But it does get super duper weird - like really weird, so weird that for some of it you have no idea where it is all going to end. Well, I felt like that anyway.
I didn't mind it as a whole - I didn't love it but I wouldn't say I hated it. I probably wouldn't be off recommending it to anyone unless they were looking for something this weird or something to do with Stephen King or Joe Hill, but again, did not hate it.
PS, film is on Netflix, book is below.
I mean, what more can I say that isn't obvious from the title!? "A fisherman (Doug McClure) and a scientist (Ann Turkel) fight back when mossy sea monsters assault women."
Yes, you read that right, this film is pretty much about sea monsters going around sexually assaulting women. The creatures pretty much have their sights set on all and any women they see, they kill the men, and as far as I can remember, the kids were basically shoved out the way. It's as strange as it sounds - very much as strange as it sounds.
And it's as crap as it sounds, this is out right a bad B-Movie, going from the acting to the gore. Apart from the raping, you would have just laughed the whole way through - that is pretty much what I did.
Best thing about this film is the fact it is literally what it says on the tin - and is just what you expect - people in fish like costumes chasing after people. Such an easy film to watch if you want to turn your brain off and waste a few hours. Are the characters smart? Nope. Do they need to be? Nope. Would it help them to survive? Of course, but then it wouldn't be such a fun film.
It's crap, but it's laughable.
What a great little movie Office Uprising is! "An employee at a weapons factory discovers that an energy drink turns his co-workers into zombies."
Now, I know what you might be thinking - this sounds similar to a few other films such as The Belko Experiment and Mayhem - but honestly, I think this is my favourite out of them all. And that's hard to say as I really did like them, especially The Belko Experiment.
Compared to the others, mainly the two I mentioned before, it just feels full of humor. It feels like a film that really doesn't take itself too seriously at all, and I really loved that! The characters are also not your stereotypical horror characters - no female damsels in distress here - oh no. Jane Levy holds her own, and honestly, I am so happy to see her in another horror film. I felt she blew it out of the park in the Evil Dead remake, and then also in Don't Breath. I also loved her in the hugely underrated TV show Suburgatory, but that's not really a horror...
Office Uprising is just a really fun little zombie film. It's not the most original, as I feel the idea of a virus in items, such as an energy drink, has been used a few times, but this honestly does not feel old or over used at all. It's a fun, simple little film that knows what it is and does not take itself seriously at all - but still feels like a well made movie.
I haven't said much about this film as I don't feel it needs much said about it, apart from people should see it and if they do, they wouldn't regret it.
Get a pizza in, or make one, and pop this on! Great evening right there.
Yes, another classic coming at you on this lockdowned day. "A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth."
Ah man, I really did want to like this film! I had always heard about it through that grapevine of horror, and how it was a classic and has a massive following. But I did not like it, at all really.
I feel They Live, for me, was one of this films that sounds better than it actually is.
The whole idea of only being able to see aliens with sunglasses is a great concept, and even with the subliminal messages, that's a great little message for the real world. One that could seem realistic to some. I also saw clips of They Live before watching it, and it looked like great corny fun - but I didn't really get that.
I love some corny fun, especially with from the 80s, and on the outside, you do get that. Once you start watching, it feels like some sort of build to a gay porn. Not a bad thing if that's what you wanted - especially in these lockdown times, (stay safe!), but I wanted a corny 80s movie, and I only really got that from the clothing and some of the catchphrases. Let's be fair, I love a good cheesy catchphrase, and They Live did have a good few - "I've come to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I am all out of bubblegum". See, how good is that!?
If the rest of the film had been as corny as the quote, I'd have been loving this film, but I just was not feeling it. I can see why it has a following and is a cult classic, but I just wasn't into it. Cool sunglasses though...
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..