BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
I am preeeeeeetty sure this is my first review for an actual Documentary type film I think - so woohoo, and it's a great one too. 'Delving into our collective nightmares, this horror-documentary investigates the origins of our most terrifying urban legends and the true stories that may have inspired them.' Done by the same people who did Cropsey, which I have to admit, I haven't seen, it is basically two people driving around asking people questions, and intertwining clips and photos from films and crime scenes - but it's so good!
Killer Legends centers around some of the most well known Urban Legends that most people have at least heard of, but really gets down to the nitty gritty of them - with crime scene photos included too. Killer Legends is set out as a film but with different sections leading into each urban legend, and starts with The Hookman.
Killer Legends starts with The Hookman, followed by The Candyman, The Babysitter and the Man Upstairs and ends with The Killer Clown. I have to be honest, each section was as good as the other - they were all in depth, they were all clear and what I really liked was that they went in depth with the film too, and even showed clips from it. Showing clips from the film was such a good idea, if someone hasn't seen them, bam, they are up to date, if you haven't seen it for years, bam, you're up to date. Such a good idea.
I think out of each section, the scariest man have been the Babysitter/The Man Upstairs is the creepiest out of the lot, mainly because out of the films that were based off them, When A Stranger Called creeped me out the most - the new one though. Just the fact that they were inside the house, all that damn time.
Don't get me wrong though, they are all creepy as hell, each and every single one of them. CREEPY. AS. HELL.
Great thing about Killer Legends too, I learnt lots, half of the stuff they told you I didn't know, like who murdered the young boy in the Halloween part - your mouth with drop to the floor, honestly. The whole film is just great, which makes me feel bad because you are basically watching about a series of different murders, and that's not nice. They are very very interesting though, reallife twists and turns - harsh but good film. You can quote me on that, "harsh but good"... I could of had more to be fair... It was that harsh but good...
Be careful though if you are a bit faint of heart - you will see dead bodies and crime photos.
When I sat down to watch this, I didn't have high hopes, not for a bad reason, but because I really hate the original, so it didn't really have much to go against... 'After discovering a video showing what he believes to be his vanished sister Heather, James and a group of friends head to the forest believed to be inhabited by the Blair Witch.'
Before I even start and say anything, I will say Blair Witch is better than the original - hands down - and it's not that good a film. Confusing, right? Blair Witch sets itself up quite well, it's no original film but it does follow the massive cliches that do work.
Already, one of the main characters is the brother of Heather, who is the main girl in the first and who goes missing in the first, massive cliche right there and a clever one but one anyone could see coming. And there is always one who wants to be the next Louis Theroux, always one friend who wants to film it all - and who almost gets it on with said brother. These also both happen too - it's a predictable film, but you do expect it - no semi pun intended.
Blair Witch is a fairly entertaining film, I definitely feel it's perfect for if you had a get together and wanted something to watch with friends, or you wanted something to watch while doing something else or just you wanted something to watch but also take the mickey out of at the same time - Blair Witch pretty much covers all of these options.
It leads up to the 'big finish' with the actual witch fairly way, not out of the ordinary really, people argue, those creepy tree people appear hanging from trees and then people start disappearing. Simple. Nothing awful, all a bit of fun really...and then it really goes a bit downhill...even more so than how bad the reviews were for this when it first came out.
Blair Witch goes downhill right at the end... It makes you nervous in some points, like a few chase scenes and such, but in some points you have literally no idea what is going on thanks to the cameras and the darkness. It's realistic, if you have hand held cameras and camera on your ear and it's dark in an old house and woods, this what it would look like - but it's awful for a movie. Some times I literally had no clue what I was looking at or what was going on, I would be looking at a wall one moment and then a face in the next, and then the characters are worn out and tend to mutter and what they are saying - no idea. If you want a fairly realistic shot movie, well then this is perfect for you, but because of the darkness and the shakiness, I had to Wikipedia the film after to actually know what I had just watched...
It did show more of what I so wanted from the original film though, more witch, more of reasons and it kind of tied somethings up... Well, you found out more about the actual witch, nothing really about what happened to Heather and Co, orrrrr what happens to the characters in this film, but hey, who needs to know those?! Not me apparently....
Overall, Blair Witch is not that good a film, it's simple, it's good to get rid of an hour or so, especially if you want something nice and easy to watch, but you won't go away saying "wow!!". If you got angry from how the original finished and wanted answer, maybe don't watch this one either... At least not until the very end.. You might get some awful De Ja Vu... Yeah, if you want something easy to kill a few hours - go for it, you might jump.
Ohhhh, this film... 'A mother desperate to reconnect with her troubled daughter becomes embroiled in the urban legend of a demonic witch.' This film is not that good...
Me and a friend chose to watch this together as it was new on Netflix and we had both heard of it - but I feel I had just heard of it because it was shown in cinemas... It definitely wouldn't have won any awards, that's for sure. Don't Knock Twice is an ok film, like I am afraid to say it's nothing special at all. It doesn't really have anything going for it, compared to other films similar, like say Lights Out that I reviewed recently. Both have fairly similar stories, and characters, yet, Lights Out is so much better. I have to be honest though, while watching it, me and my friend starting talking about curses and before we knew it, we were off Googling rituals and such... He wanted to summon things, I said he would end up getting eaten by a demon and I would get done for it...
We may have missed a little bit of the film...
The parts we did see, still were not that good though, that is what I shall add.
I think Don't Knock Twice kind of let itself down with the storyline, it's just a little bit all over the place really, it has one main storyline, but then kind of takes itself off onto another storyline and follows that for a bit.
One thing I have to give Don't Knock Twice though, is that it ends with some fairly good twists, one after the other with a little break in the middle. I won't mention them, because they are kind of some of the best things about this movie, they are actually smart, and quite a bit of fresh air...even if they come in right at the end. They do follow what I said earlier though, they do link, both twists fit together, but they do also seem like it was two writers who both wanted their ideas in the film and they both drew at a thumb war... So both were allowed in. They did make me sit up and watch it properly for once - like before, it hadn't really pulled me in at all...
I did want to like this film, but I just didn't really, I came out of watching it feeling I had missed things, Wikipedia'd it, and still don't get it, I still feel I am missing things. Maybe it's just me, maybe I am just being really thick here and actually, it is a really good film.. To be fair, the reviews aren't too good on it..
Oh gosh, I feel bad with this review, I don't really have much to say about it... I shall just say that Don't Knock Twice is a simple film, one to watch with friends when you'll be chatting or having a laugh and not really bothered by what you're watching, or one to pass the time or to have on in the background - depending on how much you want to understand... I might give it a second watch sometime as I still feel I am missing something... Yeahhhh, watch it if you aren't that bothered by what you're watching... sorryyyyyyyyy...
Last up from the last weekend of watching non stop horror films , (apart from our little McFlurry stop off mid way..), and the last film up is Lights Out. 'Rebecca must unlock the terror behind her little brother's experiences that once tested her sanity, bringing her face to face with an entity attached to their mother.' It turns out that we seemed to start with the worst films, XX, and work our way up from there, because Lights Out was great, literally so so great.
I remember when I got into short horror films, and Lights Out was one of those short films that turned up on pretty much every list about them, recommending you to watch it. So I did, and I was very very impressed, it's a very well put together little movie, so when it was said that they were making an actual film of it - I was stoked.
Andddddd, Lights Out did not let me down - it kept that amazing tension that the short film was full of and made it reach all the way to a normal film length. Brilliant. The tension is insane in this film. I hate being scared in the way that will make me jump, if I know it's coming and will make me jump - nahhhhhh. But Lights Out did this really really well, it doesn't do cheap scares, it does long, thought out ones. The fact that most of the film is in the dark too, and the creature likes to appear in shadows, is bloody scary too... Can you imagine?! Turning the lights out and seeing a figure?! Not today thank you! Or any for that!
Some might think that Lights Out is like any other recent horror film, some monster and there is always some back story involving the weird character of the film - you know the ones. Lights Out does kind of go down that route, like there is a backstory to it, but it is actually good, it's simple too, you can keep up with it. It has enough for you to concentrate on it, but it's simple enough that you won't be left scratching your head or having to Wikipedia it afterwards...
The characters are all likeable too, well, the ones you are meant to like are anyway, no one is really stupid, some are horror thick, (as in when they are warned to leave, they don't..), but without that, there wouldn't really be a horror...
Best character? Bret - hands down. Best boyfriend. EVER. He is just there for everyone, and he is smart and saves the day a couple of times, and does nice things and is just all round nice. I want my own Bret, just minus the scariness of the film - thank you very much.
Lights Out is a great film - it won't win any awards, but it's great. It has a great storyline, good characters, amazing tension and a brilliant scary being to go with it. It's just a good film and I am pretty sure you for one, wouldn't regret watching it, and two, would have a great time watching it - so you should..
If those didn't make you want to watch it, either watch the short film of it, or just think of Bret... Lovely Bret...
Now, I have been looking forward to seeing this film ever since it first came out, I just love gore and it's Eli Roth - OF COURSE IT IS GOING TO BE GORY. I was not disappointed... 'A group of student activists travels to the Amazon to save the rain forest and soon discover that they are not alone, and that no good deed goes unpunished.'
Since seeing the trailer for The Green Inferno and hearing about it - I had wanted to see it. I love Eli Roth, and I love Hostel and I love gore. I was pretty sure I was going to love this, and I pretty much did! It really builds it up for you, like you know what this film is about, you know people are going to get killed and maybe eaten in awful ways, its coming - but when, that's the thing you don't know.
The trailer also doesn't show it all, which I love, showing all of a film in the trailer is a bad move, bad move, people! The Green Inferno is good and does not do that, (but depending on how much you want to know, you might want to skip this paragraph and go to the next one because I am going to say why..), what you don't see is that they don't immediately land where they meet the tribe.
They start off by chaining themselves to trees to save a rainforest with the main girl almost being killed already... Good start guys!
After that, is the big crash, and that is when it hits the fan, and boy, it hits it. Before the plane has even landed, people are dying, falling out, being impaled all sorts, that's before the tribe has even arrived. And do the tribe make an entrance! My god, it's like Emperor Kuzco when he first enters the palace. "Boom, baby!". They know how to make an entrance, with all their darts and sword type of things, it's something to get the heart going for sure. After this scene, this film just gets better. Like, I was in weird gory cannibal heaven with this.. That's weird isn't it...
The Green Inferno is very similar to Cannibal Holocaust, story wise anyway. Like a group of people go to another place miles from them, and bump into a very very scary tribe - just FYI, not all tribes are like this! I am sure some are lovely.
The Green Inferno is a lot better than Cannibal Holocaust though, there are no real deaths in this, and no animals were killed, woohoo, it is also a lot more fun, it's more updated and more realistic. I would just watch this one over Cannibal Holocaust without even thinking about it really.
I did have to laugh at some points in this though, I mean, one place was because the group had SUCH a clever idea to do with weed, and I laughed out of basically giving them a pat on the back - that make sense?! The other part was when one of them had a wee bit of an upset stomach...that had to be emptied in the cage that they were all being held in. I have an awful sense of humour, so I found this pretty entertaining, I am a fan of Fat Bastard from Austin Powers - that must give you some clue. And the other includes a lake and a similar scene to the puddle scene from The Vicar of Dibley...please say someone knows what I am on about?! Pleaseeeeeeeeeee!
This review is getting longggg, and it is late and Love Island is coming to an end, so I shall end this before it turns into an essay.
The Green Inferno is a great film, it's gory, it's action, it's just an all round simple as hell film. You know what you're getting and that's that. Brilliant. Highly recommend it. It's just fun. Unless you have a faint heart/weak stomach, you might want to hold on to your seat...
Do this instead of Cannibal Holocaust if you want a film like this. This one!
Now, this is a different film for sure, not in an awful way, just, it's different. 'When aspiring model Jesse moves to Los Angeles, her youth and vitality are devoured by a group of beauty-obsessed women who will take any means necessary to get what she has.' Hold on to your hats with this one, and don't look away, because you will lose it.
The Neon Demon is a very artsy film, the lights are neon and bright, the music is very 80s sounding, (like The Guest and It Follows), and it has a lot of silences in it...like a lot. Lots of looks and staring...
The whole story kind of made me and my friend I watching it with laugh, mainly because of you were Elle Fanning, you would have to tell people how your new role is basically saying that you are much better than the rest of the cast... Not saying she isn't or anything, it's just a weird thing to have to tell someone, or so we thought. She has lovely hair throughout it though to be fair, and can pull off some of the weirdest outfits and make up I have ever seen in a horror.
If you were just watching The Neon Demon, without knowing anything about it, you probably wouldn't know that it actually was a horror movie to be fair, it has a psychological feel to it, being with how the models are to each other, but not horror. When I say how the models are to each other, they are very jealous of Jesse from the start, and you see it by the cliche looks, the dagger eyes and the silent stares from a far. There doesn't seem to be a lot of dialogue, and when I say, 'seem', the length of the film makes it feel like it is a very quiet film, more looks and music and lighting. That is what it feels like anyway. Not a bad thing, but it is very arty. Sometimes I found it hard to watch it 100%, whether I talk to my friend, or check Instagram or such, and then go back to it - but that probably is just me.
The Neon Demon is good at keeping you on the edge throughout the whole time of watching. Not nervous on the edge but as in you know that something bad is going to happen, but have no idea what is coming. It did help that we went on IMDB, and checked quickly how much violence and gore was in it, and knew that there was a far bit coming - that did help, it is a very very slow burner but keeps you feeling, as I said, that something will happen. Or so you hope.
The film does get going in the end, it does get more action packed and more gory and much more like a horror, but it really does take its time to get there. Once it comes, it's pretty damn harsh, and pretty damn similar to a punch in the face. There is blood and body parts and all sorts. It's good, but it does take an age to get there...
The Neon Demon, overall, is an interesting film, it takes a different tone than most horrors, but is similar in some ways with the big wash of popularity of arty 80s films. Such as The Guest, It Follows and also Stranger Things, that goes fully 80s. It's okay, like it's not awful, but I did feel I wanted more from it, especially as most of the horror concepts of it came right at the end. I like how it builds to it, but it takes long. And I can see how it was popular and how it was rated highly, it just has that feel to it.
It's an okay film, interesting but I felt I wanted more - but I am for sure not saying it's bad, just not for me, maybe after a bit I will watch it again... maybe..
Good news people! Me and my friend had a horror day yesterday! WOO! And you know what that means, HORROR FILMS HAVE BEEN WATCHED AND ARE READY TO BE REVIEWED. 'Four short horror films that are directed and written by women.' I, obviously, wanted to see this film because it is an anthology and I have a massive, massive love for them - I bought this as a birthday present for my friend and this was the perfect time to watch it. Two big horror fans in the same room - of course this was the perfect time, we plan these horror days by the way too... That is how good our friendship is... But XX wasn't that good...just FYI, our friendship is better...
XX is not that good a film, it is clever in the way it is an anthology, but unlike, say, Southbound, the stories are not linked in anyway, except they are all directed by women and also have a lead female character. Before the short films even start, you are treated to some very weird stop motion scenes, with dolls, and opening things, and clothing - it is as weird as it sounds. You get this stop motion before each short story, and I will be honest, (I have yet to Google it though.), I have no idea what the stop motion meant. I watched it all and really could not tell you what any of it meant at all... It lost me - it's creepy but no idea.
Okay, I just looked a little, and it is about a walking dollhouse... still no idea though...
The first little short story is one called The Box, and it is a pretty simple story, family are on a train, young son looks into a box a man is carrying on the train, and then he stops eating, for no reason what so ever. He just says he is not hungry. Which, lets be fair, for a child to say is a little bit weird - aren't they always hungry?! Without spoiling the story, (you might actually see some of it coming..), it basically gets worse, it gets even more depressing for the mum, but then just ends. It literally just ends, you have all these questions about why the boy is doing it, what was in the box, etc, but nope. It just ends. Think of Lock Stock and two Smoking Barrels, but with more horror and less happiness as not knowing in this one is harsh. You have literally no idea, you don't even know what was in the box.
It's not a bad ending, but it literally just ends, and you don't even see an ending coming. With or without the ending, it's not the worst episode, but it's not the best. Its a good concept, but I feel it could have done with being longer, to fill you in in more of the story... But hey, it was an interesting start..
The Birthday Party is the next short film to come, and this is a more simple concept than the first - a much simpler idea for sure. A woman is throwing her daughter a birthday party, all going well so far, but oh no, what's that?! She finds her husband dead at the table! Does she call The Police and tell them? OF COURSE NOT. She doesn't want to ruin her daughters party so she tries to hide the body... Actually tries to hide it! In the wardrobe, under the carpet, anywhere really.
It is just pretty stupid, and it gets even more stupid as it goes on - just trying to hide a dead boy really.
And well done for hiding it in a panda suit and sit it at the party table surrounded by people.. That actually happens, I kid you not. The Birthday Party is an entertaining watch, mainly because it is pretty damn stupid, and it is just enough time to find it entertaining and not silly. Any longer, and people might have been doing other things... Nothing rude - dirty people! I meant checking your phones and such!
Don't Fall was probably my favourite out of the whole film - mainly because if I could have any as a full film and watch it, it would be this one. This one is the storyline I liked the most. It was very very simple - which is good and bad, and fun. Being simple in a short film is good, you have less time, but it had no twists and you pretty much saw the whole story coming - those are the bad things. And they aren't awful things either to be fair. It's basically about friends who go camping, and happen upon some ancient cave paintings and a killer creature. That's it. Nice and simple.
I like that kind of storyline, it's just a bit of fun really, especially when it is meant to be super short too - even with no twists or anything and an alright ending, it's still just fun and simple. Yay!
The last one in this film is a little short called Her Only Living Son, and is an interesting little thing. This one is hard to explain, like really hard, and it's a very different concept to anything else really. Massively shortened down, it is about a mum and son, the son is a brat of a teen, and they fight and argue but, shock horror, all is not what it seems! I don't want to reveal too much about it, as it does build up to it all very well, and when the ends come, well, you don't really see it coming.
It's one of those you really need to watch, and really, could have done with being longer. It is a very interesting concept though, probably the most well thought out of the lot, anddddd, it had a pretty good ending. I did have to Google it though... I did get a little lost... But that might just be me...
Overall, XX is an alright film. I was very excited for it, (love of anthologies...), and I had heard good things about it to be fair. But it was okay, that's about it, weird in places, silly in places and none of the stories I really really loved - Don't Fall, as I said, was my favourite out of them all. If you want to watch it because it is different, (the fact that it's all woman making it is pushed a lot, and it's okay... I wouldn't say it does much, in my eyes, for women and horror, but it is a good idea), go ahead, but I don't think I will be watching it again in a hurry...
Damn, I feel bad saying that... but it is true.. Maybe only if some of them had endings and if Don't Fall was made into a full movie...
I hated the title of this film so so much, it just sounds so chavy... 'A one-night stand with Holly turns into a nightmare for Tyler, a high school student.' The film is not chavy at all though, so do not be worried about that, what it is though, is a bit shite...
The story for You Get Me, (still hate that name), sounds good, it has a Fatal Attraction, Single White Female vibe to it, with maybe an updated, 21st century feel to it... What it had more was a teen feel to it. And by 'teen feel' I mean like new horror films that aren't that scary as they seem to be cut down so teenagers can go see them. Such as the new Poltergeist or the Scream TV series - most of it is cut down and have some dramantic teenagers in it, teenagers that you look at and can't relate to a lot of it at all. Such as like Skins, you know, that TV show a few years ago about the group of friends who go out and get drunk, high, in trouble and laid, all at the same time, and every week, and managed to live to tell the tale until at least the end of the series. A series I found very entertaining, but also very very unrealistic, my life is not like that now, let alone when I was at school! Not that I am sad about that in anyway... don't do drugs or drink too much, kids!!!
God, I have gone completely off subject and am now teaching old life lessons... I need to get back on track... Basically, what I was trying to say, is You Get Me is a Fatal Attraction but for 16-19 year olds... to be really really exact. For one, two of the main cast are from Disney Channel, (I am the sad person who recognised them both...), and it's just toned down, like it has a creepy side to it, Bella Thorne plays creepy really quite well - but through none of it was I on the edge of my seat.
I just didn't feel it was going to shock me, that none of it would be that bad - she might rough the girlfriend up, or push the boyfriend down a hill, that's it.
I am pretty much right, you get what you expect, most of it is dagger eyes Bella Thorne's character making friends with the girlfriend after getting with her boyfriend - and being very passive aggressive... Maybe that's what this film should have been called, Passive Aggressive Teens...
I am not putting down this film for having three Disney stars in it, and a Youtube star too, (I did not know this, friend with me told me.), but you do find yourself guessing with how the film will be, and you're pretty much right, no gore, not much swearing, no really graphic sex - it is as if they tailored it for people who grew up in the days of Bella Thorne in Shake it Up... Yeah, I remember that show.. And, anddddddddd, I also remember Halston Sage, the other character was in the tv Show Big Tine Rush... Which now I must say is Nick and not Disney channel.. damn.
I've done it again, I've gone off track! Damn it!
In conclusion, see, this is me getting back on track and also coming to an end, You Get Me is okay. My friend enjoyed it more than me, but he has the hots for Thorne so.... I found it okay, it was entertaining and passed the time, nothing too bad. I wouldn't go back and watch it again really, if I wanted to watch something like it that was better, I would watch Fatal Attraction, and if I couldn't watch that, it would be Single White Female... This would be last. Maybe some Shake It Up ...
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..