BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Okay, so I do get that this isn't technically a horror film, it has a horror feel to it, but it is on IMDB as a comedy, but be nice, this is the only horror semi film I have seen this weekend! It is as good as I can do right now! I swear I have Deathgasm saved to watch and I will be on that soon, literally on it like a car bonnet soon... "Larry Abbot, speaker in the radio horror shows of Manhattan Mystery Theater wants to marry. For the marriage he takes his fiancée home to the castle where he grew up among his eccentric relatives. His uncle decides that he needs to be cured from a neurotic speech defect and exaggerated bursts of fear: he gives him a shock therapy with palace ghosts."
Haunted Honeynoon is a mixture between a more interesting and fun Berberian Sound Studio, (Because that film was so bad compared to what it could have been.), and Clue. Oh, and a little bit of The Haunting thrown in, a little bit, mainly Clue though, this film has Clue all over it. Clue with more werewolves and scares in it. Like if Clue and The Haunting had a little camp love child...
Haunted Honeymoon is an okay film, if you want a scare, do not watch this film, because that is not what you'll get, you'll more than likely laugh than jump with this film for sure. I mean, C'mon, it's Gene Wilder - of course you'll laugh. Especially one scene, killed me, "Is he still married?" "Widower" "Widower than what?", that's how it starts and I don't want to be the bad one and ruin the punch line, but all I can say, is that man was a genius with jokes. This a gem of a joke!
Haunted Honeymoon is a good storyline, and has some great parts, but that is about it - I wouldn't really watch it in a hurry again - apart from that one widow joke! I am obsessed with that, I really am! This film is okay, it has a feel of Gene Wilder over it, and those moments are always funny and are throughout this film, but when those funny scenes aren't there, I tended to lose the film. It also made me want to watch Young Frankenstein, (one of my faves!), and also a film called Murder by Death, which is a hilarious murder mystery, more hilarious than this.
So yeah, do this if you're a Gene Wilder fan, or just to see the funny parts, otherwise, maybe don't bother.
Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I had heard such good things about this film, such good things, and the trailer looked so gooooooood - I thought I was onto something here... But nope. Nope, nope and a big fat nope. 'Secure within a desolate home as an unnatural threat terrorizes the world, a man has established a tenuous domestic order with his wife and son. Then a desperate young family arrives seeking refuge.'
It Comes At Night, you had one of the best looking, one of the creepiest looking trailers I have ever seen, and I spent a good ten minutes or so trying to find a movie to watch, reading numerous lists on Google, before deciding on you. But, It Comes At Night, you were like that guy in the nightclub who you see, who looks super good, seems nice, but when you get them back to your place, they fall asleep/throw up/both. A massive let down.
It Comes At Night was just boring, from the start to finish, it did not pull me in at all - I always feel bad saying about how bad some films are, because I can just imagine the crew and cast finishing and all high fiving and celebrating that it's all done. All that hard work, and then one person, like me, doesn't like it and writes how they don't like it. See, I sound like a horrible person, but I cannot lie - I hated this film. I wasn't pulled in at all, I really really tried to pay attention and my full attention, but I just found myself getting distracted, whether it was by a newspaper or my cat, my attention just kept going elsewhere.
The trailer as well, makes for a better film than the actual film itself. How does that work I hear you ask? Well, the trailer is pretty much nothing like the actual film, the trailer shows a film maybe about something hiding in the darkness, or an illness, or just some tension that gets to breaking point between two families. I guess you could say all of this is covered a little bit in this film, a little bit, there is darkness, there is illness and there is tension, but for sure not as much as the trailer makes it out like. There is a little bit of gore, that was exciting, for the few minutes it all lasted, just the rest, nooooooo. For the few minutes the gore was there, I was kind of liking life, kind of, I still wanted the film to end, but it made it a little bit easier on my eyeballs, eyelids, brain and maybe my attention.
Damn, I said it, I wanted this film to end, like really wanted it to end, I kept checking on the time and how long I had left, and it just felt like it was going on for ever. I felt like I was aging while I was watching it! Like for all I knew, I might have been an old lady with a zimmer frame when it had finished. Everything might have dropped south!
I regretted watching this, and not the good regret where you eat one too many cakes and get that little food baby, this is the regret where I felt like I should have watched another horror film - and that is a big regret. Missing out on a better horror film - tragic!
I still feel bad about saying how bad this film was, I will prbably feel bad for the rest of the day and week, and maybe foreverrrrrr, or I might not... I would not watch this again, unless you paid me, if it looked more like the trailer, I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more - I am sure there are fans out there for it, and it has good reviews, it's just my taste.
Sorry, It Comes At Night, it might not be you, it might be me... I don't think this will work...
I'm getting good at this, evening on my own and I actually made an effort to sit down and watch a horror movie. Dear lord, I took forever to choose a movie to watch, I went in with an open mind, and of course, when I went to think about what to watch or what I wanted to watch, that same open mind of mine went blank. Damn you. I turned to the ever useful Google, and just basically Googled 'underrated horror movies of 2016/2017'. And hello lists. I always feel that sometimes the movies you haven't heard of, like underrated ones, can be the most enjoyable, such as Tucker and Dale Vs Evil and Stitches. So I went through numerous articles, and came across Beyond the Gates: 'Two estranged brothers reunite at their missing father's video store and find a VCR board game dubbed 'Beyond The Gates' that holds a connection to their father's disappearance.' - doesn't it sound great?!
Beyond the Gates is very very 80s-ish. Like maybe even more so than Stranger Things, and maybe more so if Stranger Things had a love child with It Follows with a bit of The Guest thrown in. The opening credits, my gosh, I wasn't alive in the 80s, but I have seen a lot of it, thanks to my parents, and it is literally like it is plucked right out of it. Oh, and The Goldberg's... The Goldberg's helped with teaching me about the 80s too, just a little bit...
The intro is great to be fair, like it's all pink and blue and purple, all neons must I add, and the music is just as if the 80s has pooped it all out. As you can guess, it's super 80s, if you hadn't already guessed... From the help of the intro, I was into this film even more than I was from just the story - I loved the idea of the story to be fair, I was so excited, like thrilled.
Beyond the Gates kept me thrilled for a while, it started so well, I loved the story and I love the board games they used - I have one, but obviously it's a DVD one, so I was fully into it. Even though, the girlfriend had no idea what a 'VHS boardgame was', that's what they called it and she literally could not work out what it was... I wasn't even born when they were around and I could work it out...
The film started out well, and it was seriously creepy, starting with the lady who was in the TV, she just says some mystic thing and then just stares, literally just stares and only the people playing can see her. The film also goes on the idea of what you can't see is scarier, (THANK GOD.), waking up in the middle of the night over nothing, knocks at the door, and just scary shadows.
All of that is pretty much the first half of the film, the second half is more action, which is sadly where I kind of lost it I guess. It just lost it's creepiness, the gore was good, very good, heads exploding and blood everywhere, but it went more into action than horror at the end. Think of Poltergeist, but without the scariness, and with more bright colours and ghosts, that was pretty much the end.
It was still enjoyable, I just thought it was really creepy and it kind of lost it. Still was a good film and a great story, but I found it creepy, which is a big thing for me, and it went more down the action genre by the end of it. Still see it though - you won't regret it.
I was reminded, (because I need reminding), recently by my close friend that I still needed to see Annabelle when we started talking about the new one, so, with an evening to myself I took the plunge. My friend, may I add, did wish me luck before too, but I really didn't need it... 'A couple begins to experience terrifying supernatural occurrences involving a vintage doll shortly after their home is invaded by satanic cultists.'
Why is it that in these films, all these items that people dream about and really really want, they always really really creepy things that most wouldn't even go near - like Annabelle. (Can I just point out, I am talking about this Annabelle, the fictional one, not the real one, because she has killed people... I am not saying anything bad about the real one.. cheers, thank you.) Carrying on, about the fictional Annabelle, obviously, Mia really really reallyyyyyyy wants this doll and her lovely hubby John manages to find her it. Why she is so happy by it, I have no idea, it must be the creepiest gift from a loved one ever, like ever. I think I would worry about my husband if they bought me something like that as a gift... I mean, I don't have a husband, or a boyfriend, so techically, I would have to find one of those first, but you get the idea - metophorically speaking shall we say...
Another thing I always think about these movies about cursed items, is when things start to go wrong, no one ever thinks it might be that really creepy item they just brought into their home. Never ever. Like "Hey Honey, things keep moving on their own, any idea, maybe the house is haunted?", "I think it might be that weird doll I bought you actually", "Ohhh, good point, let's get rid of it!". See! That is how you solve it, I mean, you might still need a church or priest or such, but you'd at least be in less of a pickle than they are in the movies...
Annabelle isn't a terrible film, at all, it's fairly entertaining, is easy to keep up with and is kind of creepy. I say kind of creepy, I feel this film relied too much on jumpscares, and not even built up ones, and most seemed to be cheap ones that tended to be a loud noise out of nowhere. When the spirit was shown in the corner of the screen, hidden, or walking through the shadows, it's damn creepy and was done well, but then she would pop up and do a jumpscare and it just lost it. I would have loved less builds up to jumps and more builds up to seeing something out of the corner of the screen, or even things you can't see - even that is damn creepy. That was one of the main things I didn't like about Annabelle, I just felt it used jump scares too much and depended on them way too much, and it didn't need to be, the spirit was creepy enough without a loud noise making me nearly wee myself...
Overall, Annabelle was an okay film, I wouldn't shout about it and go around and highly recommend it, but if someone wanted to know about the story or see a film about a possessed doll, I wouldn't put my hands up and tell them to run the other way. It's entertaining, it passes the time, and it can make you jump, nothing wrong with that. I've heard the second one is meant to be better...just sayinggggg. This is also the first film I think I have ever seen that is pretty much all a flashback...
And I don't care how cute you are John, but don't buy people creepy looking dolls, even if they really want it.
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..