BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Did you know there was a third I Spit On Your Grave? Apparently not a lot of people do... "After joining a therapy group for rape victims, a woman seeks grisly revenge against the perpetrators of the crimes."
If you didn't know there was a third one, you are not missing out at all as this, in my opinion, is the bottom of the bucket out of the three - three not including the original. This film felt kind of desperate in someways. In the first one, you felt for Jennifer, she was raped and she went after the men that did it to her as the law wouldn't, something most would love to do put in that situation. The second one followed the same pattern, bit of a money making scheme of using the same storyline - but again, you understand Jennifer.
The third one though, I felt, makes men look like sharks in shark films. In shark films, the shark is always made out to be a blood thirsty creature who stalks things and eats anything in sight. In this film, that is how men are made to look. Now, I don't mean any of this offensively, I know that some watching this will agree with what happens and I know a lot have been through terrible times like Jennifer has, but every man in this film was in some ways bad. And that's wrong. Not all men are bad, and some women can be just as bad too, that wasn't shown either.
I am not going to get super deep with this sort of subject, but I just felt this whole film portrayed every man as bad, and that's not true, and it is fine, as long as people don't take it literally. A film shouldn't change how you portray life, and this shouldn't make woman worried to walk alone. Until the end when Jennifer tries to turn men bad and it doesn't work, they show what I am saying.
Going back to the film now and less deep, this is not that good a film, I didn't really like any of the characters, didn't warm to any of them, but, the gore and deaths were pretty great. Really only good thing about this film if I am honest. Two deaths stuck out - I won't say it all, but one involves a willy and one involves a bum. All I am going to say - lots of blood though, those are great, the rest, not so much.
I didn't really enjoy this to be fair, I wouldn't watch it again in a hurry but I would applaud the team doing the special effects and gore, that was impressive. Look at that, just created a shit toast instead of a shit sandwich...
I DID IT! I SAW THE MEG! Damn, I feel it was about April when I reviewed the trailer and I have onlyyyyyyyyy just seen it. "After escaping an attack by what he claims was a 70-foot shark, Jonas Taylor must confront his fears to save those trapped in a sunken submersible."
I have to be honest, I had heard a mixture of reviews on this film even before I saw it, and not a lot of them were that good. I had heard how it was more family orientated compared to being a horror film, and I had also heard how it was lacking blood and gore... That made me nervous. From this film, about a GIANT shark, may I add, I wanted gore and blood, as you know I love sharks films and sharks and that tends to be what I look for in them.
I have to say, I didn't really get that, the gore and blood is pretty non-existent... I think, looking back, you might see one severed arm and a person getting eaten in the jaws of Meg, but even that cuts away before you see anything nearly bloody. I am used to wayyyyy more gore and blood when it comes to shark movies, (not in real life though, TED TALK, sharks aren't monsters and don't kill a lot, they don't even like the taste of flesh. Love sharks, please. Thank you for listening to my TED talk.), I just love the corniness and the bloodiness of a shark film, so damn much, but this lacked that.
I enjoyed The Meg, don't get me wrong, it's very entertaining and cheesy and Jason Statham is all sorts of cheese. But I really wanted more, I wanted a scary horror film about a giant blood thirsting killing machine, (not that sharks are killing machines!), I didn't really get that at all. Yes, Meg is hungry and eats people and yes, it has some jump scares but the problem with this film is it was done as a family film. Adults and their kids were in mind when it was being made, I haven't read the books though, but I assume they are less family oriented...
I just wanted it to be scary and bloody - similar to 47 Metres Down - that is a pretty scary film, just with more blood. I mean, c'mon, the shark is huge, she could do much more gory damage than she was allowed to do. I know that some of it would have been hard with how big she actually is, and she probably would have eaten things whole, but still - I wanted to be scared and to do my evil smile when I see gore, and I did not, once.
I feel I have put this film down, and I didn't want to, I was entertained by this, I enjoyed it, but I feel like it didn't match up to what I expected/wanted. I wanted scares and gore and what I got was a family blockbuster - not a bad thing, just not what was expected. I still liked it though, it had a giant shark in it, of course I would like it! Now all they need to do is to make another version, but this time, it's an 18 and very clearly marked a HORROR.
PS. No shark photos on this review due to a close close friend being scared of them, and because I love her and am a good friend.
So, last one of the night, (last horror film of the night I mean, I'll mention at the end the film we finished on...), and it turned out, THIS WAS THE BEST. "The horny spirit of an Asian prostitute wants a piece of the action when two roommates try to woo a beautiful ghost-hunter who's trying to prove their house is haunted." It sounds awful, we thought so too, and my friend put it on as it sounded so bad and we had had no luck with horror films that night, but damn, this was good.
What makes Ghost Team One so good is going to be very hard to put into words. We went into this in the dark, as neither of us had ever really heard of it, let alone seen any trailer or anything for it - basically, we were not expecting anything from this. We were not expecting it to be that good and to be more like the knock off horror films, like bad versions of Scary Movie - but noooo, I liked this a lot. Like a lot a lot.
Ghost Team One is a simple film. It's got a crazy, but original storyline, one that you can follow so damn easily, and even talk in some parts about how good it is, and not get confused by the story at all.
The characters are all very easy and likeable, even the nasty character, he's also likeable in his own little way... That's how much I liked this film, I even liked the nasty characters.
It's pretty damn funny, it has lovely little humour throughout, (it is about a horny ghost after all...), and damnnn, the ending possession scene is great. It's so damn funny but so damn strange at the same time. Me and my friend had to wind it back to watch it again as it is that good. I even tried to find the scene on Youtube to re-watch it again - sadly, I could not find it...
Now, you know what I mentioned in my last review on Deadheads, about indie original films - this one is a semi indie film, but very original, but is a good example of one. I have never ever heard or seen of any other films like this, and that is so damn exciting to me! I had no idea what I was going into with this film and I loved it.
I would definitely like to see more films about horny ghosts to be fair... well saying that, maybe just a sequel to this. That's the only thing I didn't like about this film, no sequel. I needed more. I am horny for more of this. I neeeeeeed more.
I felt the title of this film was on the same level as me, as this is what I used to say to people I was afraid of - dead heads. I used to say to people that I was scared of dead heads when I watched horror films and things where dead bodies might appear, such as CSI, which I used to watch reflecting in the window... Don't ask me why, made the dead bodies less scary, I feel I am going a bit off course though... "Coherent zombie pals (Michael McKiddy, Ross Kidder) take a road trip to find one's high-school sweetheart so he can tell her how he really feels about her."
Watched Deadheads in the same evening as Ritual, the one horror film I couldn't finish, and it didn't really get much better with this one, I am sad to say. I liked the sound of this one, I was definitely hoping for some Wasting Away sort of vibes, but no, didn't really get that... This film feels very much indie, and is a pretty original storyline, it's just a very very slow burner. I feel like we had a thing for slow burners over this weekend with most of the films we chose.
It's a strange film, and one that has an original concept and some good moments, some pretty clever moments, but it just doesn't seem to build up to anything.
As mentioned about, this feels a bit like Wasting Away, but just less clever and fun. It uses a similar storyline, and starts with the characters not realising they could be zombies - could be is the key here. I won't say anymore, as it does take a different turn than you expect, but it still never really gets you excited.
As I mentioned before in some ways, this film never really gets off the ground, it feels like it is going somewhere and it does, it has a beginning and an ending, but by the time you've got to the end, you're not really that bothered.
Saying that though, it's original, has an original ending, and the characters are definitely some characters - as in "damn, that guy is a character!".
Overall, Deadheads sounds better than it is, it's a very original idea, but if I am honest, I'd rather watch Wasting Away to get more of a feel for clueless zombies. Just didn't quite reach all its zombie potential.
The day has come everyone, the dreaded day has come, that day where I could not finish a horror film. I, Meg, could not finish a horror film and that has never ever happened before! I know what you are saying, "But this has never happened before! What was the film like to have made her stop watching and not be able to finish it?!". Now, there are a fair few films that people state they haven't been able to finish, like Cannibal Holocaust or The Human Centipede, or even the recent Veronica, all for being either too scary or disturbing. Now, did I stop Ritual for any of those reasons? Well, sadly not... not at all.. "A man receives a disturbing phone call from his estranged wife. When he arrives at her seedy hotel room, he finds out she has killed a stranger associated with a dangerous cult."
It was none of those reasons, I could not finish this film, due to it being so bad and so slow. I hate saying bad things about films because I know how much blood sweat and tears go into a film, and this film was someones life, but this film just wasn't good. I was with my beloved friend who I tend to watch horror films with, and my parents, and none of us wanted to continue it. We got about half way through and my friend was reading the Avon magazine over this film...
It just was slow, and didn't really go anywhere, the acting was pretty good and the concept was something that could have been good, but it just took too long. It just didn't seem to go anywhere, and I know that shouldn't and doesn't make a film bad, but this is just too slow for my liking. And especially with company, you want something exciting and this was not it.
Maybe sometime I will watch it all, one day, but that day probably isn't any day soon, sorry!
I have to say, I think Stephen King is a genius and I love his stories - but I do tend to go into them and his books and his films in a ready to run position. When I say a ready to run position, I mean, with King stories, they can get a little weird and you never know what you might get. Take the kids orgy scene as an example.
I had never heard of Cell, as far as I knew, so I had no idea what I was in for, but it sounded good. "When a mysterious cell phone signal causes apocalyptic chaos, an artist is determined to reunite with his young son in New England.".
On the outside, this film looks good, it has a good cast, and what I would call, a good storyline, but as you get further in, it seems to be less pretty. I watched it, not only because it's a horror film, (obviously), but because I actually was really pulled in by the storyline. As soon as the evil phone signals took over though, I am sorry but I lost it. It just was not done that well, the, (can you call them zombies..? They aren't the undead though..., let's say possessed.), the possessed aren't the most well done of characters, it's just done quite humorous. It's not meant to be, but I feel it looked like it, just a lot of screaming and shaking and running into walls, with a fair bit of brightly coloured blood.
I have to compare this film to The Happening, The Happening is a horror film, but is more humorous than terrifying, but in a way that it doesn't mean to be.
Take for example, "What? Nooooooo", that's a funny scene, and it really is not meant to be. There are parts in Cell where it is definitely more humorous than scary, such as how the group call to the big phone signals in the sky, looks more like they are trying to catch flies. And mum walked in right at the end, when all the 'Phoners', (turns out that's what the possessed are called.), are running around in circles around a phone tower. She genuinely said they looked like river dancers, and it was true, once I saw it, I couldn't unsee it! It isn't that good a film so it didn't really ruin anything...
I also forgot some of the ending, and I've just used Wikipedia, and it seems like I got the ending completely wrong... whoops. The ending is actually better than how I had thought it had ended, so that's something, still isn't that good a film though.
I would say, if you want a Stephen King film, watch the new IT instead, or Gerald's Game...
Oh, and I feel like it has a massive message about not using your phone too much, so TED talk, look up and stop using your phone so much.
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..