BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
I am starting to learn with watching films at the gym. I have learnt that it is very hard to hear, and so subtitles are the way forward - even better - subtitled films. In comes Target, a film that is very much subtitled and one that had a great storyline. "Nine people are forced to play a lethal game in which only one of them can survive after they become trapped in an empty building."
I was actually pleasantly surprised by Target, I wasn't expecting anything as I had actually never even heard of this film before seeing it on Netflix but I do want to get back into foreign films again, and this was definitely a great place to start.
Target starts in such a great way too, working from near enough the end with one of the characters telling police and the viewer, what happened to him and everyone else as he is lying in bed, burnt to a crisp. It then goes backwards in time through flashbacks and actually shows you, until the end when it literally tips everything on its head...don't try and work anything out with this one. You probably would be able to work it out if you tried hard enough, but it really takes out the fun of the ending if you do.
Target is a pretty fun movie, it has humour, lots of it, it has deaths, mostly off screen, and some of the campiest fight scenes you will ever see - so why more people didn't like this, I will never know. It has a great opening title sequence, a great ending and actors who are on the mark, maybe not with all their jokes though - but I don't know whether that's due to me watching more English/American films and the humour being different. I definitely wouldn't mark Target down for that, that's just a bit of a cultural difference. It had some great humour in it, some really clever jokes, but some may have just missed the mark.
Target was a very good movie, but it really tied it up so well with the ending. Not just one twist comes and hits you in the face, but two - and not just straight after. You have a little breather break before the next one comes along, and my god, they are worth the wait. As mentioned, you might be able to work it out, but you shouldn't.
Target is fun and clever and definitely makes me want to watch more Indonesian films, as with this smart little gem, I feel I am missing out.
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Where I even start with this film?! "A Beverly Hills teen discovers his parents are part of a gruesome orgy cult for the social elite." I mean, the information mentions an orgy - AN ORGY.
I feel I should start from the beginning, and not just jump straight into the orgy, probably like an orgy really. Don't want to just jump straight in in an orgy, gotta warm yourself up first and get ready or else it could end badly and a little confusing...maybe. Anyhoo, I had heard about this film a fair bit before watching it, well, I say about this film, I had really heard about certain scenes and not so much the rest of the film - oh god, everything keeps leading back to the orgy!
That last scene is what I had heard about for years, and not just heard, I had seen shots of it - but I didn't actually know the name of the film it turned out until now. Who'd have thunk?!
Society is a very weird film, dad walked in half way through it, caught a bit, and said how weird it looked and how bad it sounded... He is not wrong about it being weird, but, the funny thing is, out of the three films I watched all in one go, this actually was my favourite out of the lot.
I was very weirded out by the whole film, even before THAT scene, the film is weird and I found myself pulling very confused faces throughout it, but I was very intrigued by it. The characters are all very bizarre, apart from, obviously, the main character and his friend, and this is obviously on purpose. From the start, most people are weird, Bill's sisters ex boyfriend keeps sneaking into their house, muttering how he has to tell them things, then the sister is super damn close to the parents - as in semi naked back massage close. And then not only that, people start leaking, literally leaking down their backs this thick clear mucus stuff - by this point, I'm wanting to know what the hell is going on, I'm into it.
Skip a whole load of Bill being like Columbo, and we come to the end - I don't want to give too much away as things happen that I don't want to ruin, so I will just go to the end without adding in any spoilers. And by the end, I mean, THAT scene. Yes folks, we are back to the orgy.
I definitely feel like I am not the only person who only really watched this film because they had heard of or seen photos of the orgy scene. Let me tell you right now, that scene does not disappoint! (Does not disappoint if you wanted one of the weirdest scenes you have ever seen in your life was what I meant...). Everyone is semi naked, most of the town is in on it, and that's even before the sexy time starts... As the sexy time starts, there is a lot of sucking skin, and not in that way, skin is sucked and mouths are stretched into long beaks, and that damn clear mucus is back. But not just a little now, like a flood of it, everyone is covered in this clear slime, and everyone is sucking skin, and digging fingers into now very soft and mould-able skin. The lighting in this scene is also a killer for the eyes, it's all green and red shades and just looks like you have the colour dial on your tele turned too high. Genuinely I could see it on my eyelids when I looked away.
After all this Bill then talks to his dad, normal as anything right? Wrong. His dad is literally a butt, literally, his face is in a bum and is just talking like normal - turns out within this orgy, this is a common thing as no one is batting an eyelid and everyone is having a whale of a time. Almost makes you want to join in, almost...
Overall, Society is something else, something else entirely. It's very weird and you will never see anything like it again. I can't say it's that good a film if I am honest, it's more like a one hit wonder, kind of a film you want to see as you've heard so much about - but one viewing is enough. It was probably my favourite film of the day, but as I said, I wouldn't rush back to watch it. Apart from to show people that orgy scene, already done that a few times... Sent photos to people and everything as it is a very hard scene to describe... No pun intended.
Woop, second film of the day, and one that, I am sad to say, again wasn't the best... "Four American counsellors at a European summer camp must deal with the outbreak of a rage-inducing plague that starts in the animals."
I really quite liked the storyline to this, damn, I need to stop saying that - I feel it builds up films too much for me and I am let down by them instead... Anyway, I liked the storyline, and it started very well, nice little blind mans bluff game, that leads you into thinking something horrible might happen... only to safely pull you away and for it all to be alright. That is literally the opening scene and it is good, it gets you right into the action from the start, but that's kind of where it starts to go wrong...
I think the problem with this film is it feels a lot like a few other films, but other films that I find more enjoyable. It feels kind of like The Children, as some of the children in this film turn killer due to a virus, very much like The Children - but The Children is one of my favourite horror films so obviously, I do enjoy that much more than this. Summer Camp also feels like Come out and Play, I feel it's shot in a similar way and it also brings in the element of kids. I also, again feel bad saying this, I feel Come out and Play has more of a tense atmosphere to it, compared to Summer Camp, as Summer Camp doesn't really pull out all the stops when it comes to tension.
There is a fair bit of action in this film, but it doesn't hold the tension that well, meaning, it's entertaining, but it has you nowhere near the edge of your seat at all. Good if you like your action...
Overall, Summer Camp is okay, it's fairly entertaining is quite fast paced, but doesn't have that much of an original storyline or holds the tension. Ballsy ending though - pretty damn dim and depressing. Summer Camp is okay, just okay really...
Anyone else get slight cabin fever over the Christmas season as horror films are kind of frowned upon, especially when the elderly members of your family are staying at yours and so you're not allowed to watch them? I got it a lot, so much so, I binged watched three horror films in one day... The first one is Silent Night, so the most Christmassy out of the three - but probably my least favourite. "The police force of a remote Midwestern town search for a killer Santa Claus who is picking off citizens on Christmas Eve."
I loveeeeeeee slasher films, like love love love them, but I never expect much from them as they don't tend to be the best films - not in a bad way, just in an awards show way. I didn't expect anything from Silent Night and I am glad I didn't because I have seen better... Out of all the slasher films that have a killer Santa in them and Malcolm McDowell, that I have seen, this is one of the best, I'll say that...
I didn't hate Silent Night, at all, hate is a very strong word and one I do not like to use around my beloved horror films. I just didn't really feel much for this film. Bit like when a hot person pops up on your Tinder, you think "yes please", swipe right, but no match and they are gone forever. Bit like that. You enjoyed that person/film, but once they are gone, you're not really that bothered.
I did need this film after Christmas though, I hadn't had any form of gore or slasher in my life for about five days and, even though I could have watched better, it helped fill me with horror happiness again due to the lovely gore. The lovely but so damn over the top gore - especially the tree grinder scene - I NEEDED THAT.
Overall, Silent Night is an okay film, it's fun and it's pretty damn gory so is very good to pass the time, but one that won't become a Christmas classic any time soon in my household. Still very satisfying gore wise though..
This film, man! This film is something else! "In 1905, a drifter on a dangerous mission to rescue his kidnapped sister tangles with a sinister religious cult on an isolated island." I was expecting to be writing this review saying how overrated it was, as I had heard quite a lot of good reviews about it, but nope, they are all correct - this is a very good film.
I'll start off by saying, it is a slow burner, give it about an hour to really get going - but you will stay with it. That's not me shouting at you and telling you off and to watch it, that's me saying the film will keep you wanting to watch it, the whole way through. It just has something very intriguing about it, you have a little bit of impending doom along with this film too, one that, as I said, takes a while to reach the bang.
When you first hear of Apostle, that is probably one thing you think of to start with, how similar it sounds compared to The Wickerman, and some of it is correct, it has an island, some type of cult and also a missing person who is suspected to be on said island. Apostle takes a very different turn though, and one that I really really loved. One that I also did not see coming, and one that, as it all started building up to the climax, I had to hide my shocked open mouth at the gym, as I was surrounding by running people - and I looked like I was trying to catch flies.
I just did not see any of it all coming, it starts off as a cult and then all a sudden, Thomas goes down into some caves, and stuff hits the fan when he sees things that I won't mention. After that, this film goes down another rabbit hole and it all gets a bit...wahhhh - but in a good way. I don't know what is a spoiler though, so I am just going to say, it's a very good film...
Apostle is a great film, such a great film, one that has lived up to all the good reviews I have heard about it. It also does it's death and gore really well, so well I watched the 'hand crank' death a few times as it was done so well. From the POV at the start to the gore at the end, so damn good, I was a very happy bunny after this film.
I highly recommend this film. Surprisingly, I actually like the Nic Cage Wickerman, due to how bad it is, but Apostle has overtaken that completely, pushed that kind of out of the way, just due to how clever and original and how well done and planned it is. Do it, watch this film. Just don't join any cults...
Another film watched at the gym - woo! And I actually quite enjoyed it... "A young genius accidentally invents a device that amplifies the paranormal activity within his family's house, possibly bringing back the spirits of loved ones, and unleashing things far worse."
I did not really know anything about this film before watching it, I went in blind and all I knew about it was what Netflix told me, I don't even think I Googled it or anything. I also downloaded it before going to the gym, so once I was there, there was no turning back and I had to watch it or else it was bye bye data. I was pretty impressed from the start, the soundtrack for one to this film is A* - it just fits the film so damn well, mainly the beginning song and the ending one. Damn, I wanted to pat whoever chose them on the back straight away.
I have to say too, I pretty much liked the characters from the get go, well the main guy Ethan anyway, he has a tragedy and has two young siblings who he needs to look after and he does step up. Well, most of the time anyway, sometimes he gets caught up in his new electrical toy - the problem in this whole film, and that is why he's not all good in my books. He knows there is something up with his new toy, but he carries on using it, his sister acts a bit weird and mentions it, and he still carries on. He then starts seeing weird things, linked to the electrics, but yet, carries on this whole time in using it, and not only that, he tries to make it stronger with the persuasion from his siblings. Silly little mistake, but hey, wouldn't make a good film if the characters were fully smart...
One thing I really did like in Our House were the looks of the ghost/spirits and how they showed their presence. It was done in a pretty subtle way, which made it to be pretty spooky - even if I couldn't see it that clearly due to the bright lighting at the gym... They also didn't show themselves straight away, which when done well, can be so damn effective and it worked very well here.
Overall, I liked Our House, for a little unknown new film that had pretty much no push behind it, I was fairly impressed, it has a little bit of an obvious storyline, but it's good and feels new. Well done, Our House.
I especially liked your subtitles... highly entertaining when music would play.
It's CHRISTMAAAAASSSSS. And because of that, I feel I had to watch a Christmas film, that actually had some blood and guts in it and not just will they/won't they. Because, let's be fair, that's pretty much Christmas in a film... But, I didn't want that. I tend to get a bit of cabin fever at Christmas time, as I am now allowed to watch as many horror films as I would like, but I found a Christmas one, and it actually sounded pretty damn interesting! "When an awkward date on Christmas Eve leads a couple into a strange theater, they're treated to a bizarre and frightening collection of Christmas stories, featuring a wide ensemble of characters doing their best to avoid the horrors of the holidays. From boring office parties and last-minute shopping, to vengeful stalkers and immortal demons, there's plenty out there to fear this holiday season."
I love a good anthology, as I feel any people who have read my reviews know as I mention it a lot - I really love anthologies. I also loved this one as I feel I could watch it in December and it wouldn't be sinned upon. As it is an anthology, I shall be doing my normal and splitting it into parts, reviewing each part as I would a normal film, and then doing the beginning and end and, hopefully, tying it all together with a nice neat bow. So, onwards we go...
Did I also mention that each segment is named a lovely little Christmas name on a take off of a well known Christmas poem? Sweet, eh!
So, we enter the film on an incredibly awkward date at what looks like the worst little theatre in the world, and what looks like a similar show to a show I saw years ago... Spoiler alert, the show I saw was about a man living in a fridge, and it was terrible - this one follows that one, just like if they were twins.
Each section starts off with a board saying the story name, being shown by a pretty scary woman, who then leaves and three actors enter, they then start some form the story before it actually cuts to the story - kind of clever as it is very damn original. I did get a nervous twitch with it though, as it did take me back to a few weird little shows I have seen while at drama clubs...
'The Stockings Were Hung' is the first segment and is set at a very mediocre looking office Christmas party. Out come the Secret Santa presents - YES - until one blows a guys brains out and it turns out that they are locked in and someone wants to play a game. It is SAW like, but lacks the tension I guess, and the fun of the traps. I feel it could have been great, and is very similar, also, to The Belko Experiment, but doesn't take advantage of that great story line of cat and mouse. Still entertaining though, just not the best.
The next one 'Dash Away All' is next and is probably my favourite out of the lot - some of them feel cheaply made whereas this one is the opposite. Dash All Away makes you want to know more, I won't say what the whole story is as I don't want to give anything away, but it is basically a guy, locked out of his car after buying last minute presents, who meets two mysterious women. It is a basic concept, but with added bits, it just works so well! I wanted more, I wanted to know more - for a short film, it did it very well and had almost perfect timing.
'All Through The House' is next up and I wasn't a massive fan of it until right at the end where it did make me smile. It's pretty much if A Christmas Carol had a love child with a PG version of Breaking Bad. Man hates Christmas, takes drugs, tries to get laid and then gets into a fight with his neighbour before seeing the wrong in his ways. It's okay, but nothing really that special, until the ending when I did feel a little bit of warmth to my cold heart.
I love the story of 'Arose Such A Clatter', loved it so much - so much it should be a full movie and if someone helps, I'd happily make it... hint hint. Man runs over a reindeer and Rudolph comes after him for revenge - simple but it works. Well, works on paper, in this segment, not so much. It's just too short and I feel it tries to fit a lot in, but misses parts out while doing that, some shots in this are perfect though. Seeing the murders from the POV of the reindeer is so damn clever - again, another I would like to see more of!
'In A Twinkling' is last and I have to admit, I did really like this one too. I can't say I fully understood it all, but I still enjoyed it. Friends arrive at Steve's house after he'd warned them not to, and him and his girlfriend get caught in a time loop with some creepy friends who don't like being asked questions, but like to give you presents. It all sounds a bit weird and confusing, and it is, but I was into it and I was invested...and did I get it - nope! I still enjoyed it though, anything like The Twilight Zone and I'm there.
It then goes back to the couple in the theatre, and it gets weird, so damn weird, with a smiling man and the show turning into reality, and again, did I understand it all - nope - but did I enjoy it - hell yes.
I really liked the ending, I felt it was a good twist, even if I didn't get it, and I was tense, I had my mouth open, and then the worst thing happened - it ended. I wanted to see more, again. Really, I would have liked the ending to have been longer as I liked where it was going, but you gotta live with what you're given, and for what I had, I liked it.
Overall, All The Creatures Were Stirring was not as good as A Christmas Horror Story, but it was still good, on a lower budget and shorter in length, it still was very enjoyable and had some great concepts. Maybe not a Christmas classic, but I would take it over some Christmas films anyday.
Guess what?! This is my second film I watched in sections while doing cardio at the gym - really getting the hang of this cardio stuff...
"Four friends on their way to Coachella stop off in Los Angeles to tour true-crime occult sites, only to encounter a mysterious young runaway who puts them on a terrifying path to ultimate horror."
When I am at the gym, I have learnt not to watch horror films that you need to pay attention to and can't with the use of headphones. This is due to loud gym music and the loud noise a cross fit trainer makes when I am trying to get in all my steps... I swear, if Netflix check up on what you watch a lot, they'll probably wonder why it takes me so long to watch some films.
I liked the story line to this if I am honest, at that time, I really did fancy watching this, and I was even more into it when the characters all show an interest in old murder locations, and not only that, they start visiting them all too. I was walking along on the Cross Fit Trainer, smiling at the locations in this film...but then the characters starting talking and becoming kind of stupid...
That was the one massive problem with this film, the characters. They are stereotypical, with even more stereotypes added into it, and then with a little more added in on top of that. Four young adults, heading off to Coachella, but the ones that like to poke their nose into everything and annoy people who are not doing them any harm, and then go stalking people. They then wonder why they are getting chased down by some unknown spirits...
In their defence, they tried to help a girl, and it backfired, so in a way, they were trying to do what was best, but from them they just get worse. They are rude, nosey, aggressive and also no common horror movie sense = I swear, none of these people in these films have never seen a horror film... Although the Shaun Mendes look alike is pretty good eye candy in this...
Overall, Satanic isn't awful, it's just not that good. I liked the ending and the effects are pretty good in it, so I'll give it those. It also passes the time, and I didn't feel I wasted an hour and a half of my life, but...I wouldn't watch it again in a hurry... Sorry.
Please don't come and haunt me with your spirits and demons.
Two things about me and this film. One; this is the first film I watched at the gym while doing cardio - woop. And two; I love films based on true stories and this is one of those! I have known the story of this for ages and it has always fascinated me. "Ensconced in her sprawling California mansion, eccentric firearm heiress Sarah Winchester believes she is haunted by the souls of people killed by the Winchester repeating rifle."
I was into this when I knew they were making it, being, as mentioned above, I knew the story, and I wasn't actually that disappointed to be honest. Winchester is entertaining, I mean, it kept me entertained for 40 minutes which I basically walked on the spot, but it was pretty damn cliche and pretty predictable. It kind of follows the same cheap jump scares, although, a lot of them are entertaining - didn't make me jump but I'll give it, they were thought out in a cheap sort of way. Especially with the mirror.... I shan't say anymore.
The cast in Winchester though, is brilliant, both Helen Mirren and Jason Clarke steal the show and damn, Mr Clarke looks good in the old clothing that was worn back then...something about the white shirt - has a Han Solo feel to it. Jason, I love you, and then he replies with "I know", and we run over into the sunset.... Or I can just wait until Pet Sematary comes out and just watch that instead...
Winchester did well with annoying me though, there was a kid in this film, and it did not let me down with them annoying me. The kid was ginger too, and I tend to love anything ginger, but he made my blood boil. He was just an evil little brat who tried to shoot Helen Mirren - he was possessed, but that's not the point... He was still a little brat and I really wanted someone to throw him out a window. FYI, I am not encouraging kid throwing, he was possessed, it's different.
Winchester has a few little twists, and one I worked out just before it happened, but it was still pretty damn good.
Winchester is just an entertaining movie, especially as it's based on true events and it means I can do more research on it and spend hours before telling my dad all the new facts I have learnt. Will he believe them, or won't he? Find out in the next review!
Spoiler, he probably won't.
Don't tell me off, I actually have such a soft spot for these type of films, the whole teenage, social media, angry spirit story line - they are fun! "When a college student unfriends a mysterious girl online, she finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends."
I liked this filmmmmmm! I really really did. It's just a fun little film, it isn't anything special but it's also not awful. Sure, the storyline is a little bit meh, and the characters aren't the most likeable people in the entire world, but some of them die in different gory ways, and it's great.
This film is why you should always be nice, but keep people at arms length. Laura becomes friends with Marina, but she becomes obsessed, maybe if Laura had just been a bit more honest with her, everyone might have lived through the film. If when Marina had become a bit too much, and had started triple messaging her every few seconds, Laura had just taken her aside and just said she is her friend, but we don't have to do everything together - kind of like when you break up with someone, but their friends are also your friends so you have to stay friends. If only she'd let her down nicely and not just tried to play it off and pretend they are friends...
I have to say, I did really like the deaths in this - like a lot. They were just really nice and gory and didn't cut away just as it got to the good parts. Each death is pretty damn long, including the build up, which I will come back to, and just shows you every little gory detail - exactly what I love.
I liked the way they died too, damn, that sounded wrong..., but I did, each death was different and just right so you could see it all, not like in Unfriended where it's all chopped up and the guy dies with his hand in a blender off screen....nahhhhh. I want to see it all and I did with Friend Request.
Coming back to the build ups, I jumped a fair few times, so much I swore at the TV as the jumps are cheap, but they got me everytime. Yep, I said it, the jumps are cheap, they are exactly where you expect them, and are basic loud noises or with faces appearing suddenly, and on and on. But I had fun watching it, I wasn't expecting anymore from this than cheap, easily spottable scares. It's just that type of simple film!
I would watch this again, it's like how I often watch Unfriended again and again, as it's just a simple movie to watch and you can easily multitask with it on - fun fact, I tend to have on a horror movie I have seen in the background when I write a review - this film would be perfect for that!
I liked this film, it is easy to watch and keep up with, it does have a nice little twist at the end that I did not see coming as a nice added bonus, and up until that point, I was having fun, that made it even better. You want something easy to watch, try Friend Request, and be nice to the weird people in hoods with no friends on Facebook - but not that close.
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..