BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
You have no idea how excited I was when I first saw this on Prime - no idea! I was so damn excited. I have a thing for films that sound like they could be really bad, but actually turn out to be lots of fun, just like films such as Cockneys Vs Zombies - both fun and games. "A group of carpet fitters are sent on a job to an old Country house in the middle of nowhere. However they soon discover it's a trap set up by the savage, cannibalistic family, The Hannings. The carpet fitters are forced to fight for their lives or risk ending up being the evenings dinner. Unfortunately they are not quite your typical heroes!"
Don't knock this film until you're tried it! It's actually really great. From the get go, I liked it, and at no point did I think "This is shit", at no point at all. I even liked the characters a lot, each one was kind of funny in their own way, and each one surprised me - mainly due to when people died. By that, I mean, some you thought might survive, and be the hero, might not survive and might get turned into dinner...
I had some favorite characters, and all I am saying, not all of them live... Which is very sad, being all the hard work they did to try and survive. Sad, very sad.
I expected this to be low budget and good but not good on the special effects gore side of it - but I was wrong. I have to admit, I was wrong. The movie pretty much starts with someone getting their nose chopped off, and actually, it's pretty well done. Doing special effects myself, not to brag, but I do have a habit of thinking of how it's been done/how it could be done. In this film, like the nose being chopped off, I was pretty sure I knew how they did it, but I was still very impressed. I was happy with the amount of gore, and I was very happy that the people trying not to be eaten, were not all Chuck Norris followers who could all suddenly fight. Cannibals and Carpet Fitters does throw you a few curve balls, mainly, as I mentioned before, with who dies. Like Feast, the heroes aren't always the heroes. That's all I am going to say...
Overall, I really liked this film. I was drawn to it straight away and I was 99% sure I was in for a treat - only a teeny bit of doubt. Fan of comedy films that do not take them seriously at all? 100% watch this one - see, no doubt there at all. Do it - now. And then eat some Spam as apparently that's as close to human meat as you'll get without eating a human - bad news for me who loves Spam, maybe?
Good old Rob Zombie. He gives you what you want and expect when you watch one of his films. "Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hellish compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns."
And what do you want and expect from a Rob Zombie film, I hear you ask? Well, I personally expect lots of blood and gore, obscenity and some form of boobs/sex/semi nude people. Do you get that in 31? Yes. Is it bad? Not at all. I watch Rob Zombie movies expecting all of that, and mainly wanting gore and blood - and I got that.
Warning though, don't watch it if you don't like some language/words for genital parts that aren't scientific... But then again, probably should've done your horror research before choosing a film if those kind of things aren't up your street. The film literally has numerous scenes about, and I quote and also apologize to anyone who is not a fan of swearing, "fucking holes" and not just one hole - numerous holes! And this is not just one scene either. I was watching this at the gym, with my big headphones on, and even I was worried someone might overhear it and kick me out. Alas, I finished it, and actually rather enjoyed it.
I had heard bad things about 31, but the storyline pulled me in. The whole scary compound, having them fight for their lives - yes please! And it was nice to see the normal Rob Zombie actors, like Sheri Moon Zombie, playing completely different characters, and well. Seeing them playing the damsels was actually so refreshing, and was a refreshment I didn't know I needed.
I also really liked the villains too, each one was different and Malcolm McDowell as the leader of them all - what a brilliant idea!
One thing I always like about a horror film is a twist, and one that 31 shocked me over, was how good the little twist at the end is. I did not expect it and did not see it coming, and honestly, it was the best way to line up the end to 31.
Overall, I really did enjoy this film. It will definitely not be for everyone - but then again, I am not everyone - but if you want some fun, it's a great load of fun! Adult fun without taking your clothes off.
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..