BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Happy New Year! And what a better way to start the new year and the new decade off than with a review on a film that made some throw up - light weights. "An innocent teenager, studying to be a vet, develops a craving for human flesh."
If you may have guessed, I do like a nose sometimes on some films - not all films, just some, and this was one that I had a nose at. Whether it be on purpose or by accident. It did have some very good reviews, and good reviews in the disturbing way too. Lots of reviews said how it was controversial and a few even mentioned people passing out and throwing up - and I feel that makes for a film I need to see!
I can't lie, it is weird, it's a very weird film in places, but honestly, I was hooked. From the get go, I was into it, mainly due to not having any idea on what I was about to see.
I am not sure with this film what counts as a spoiler to be fair, so I am going to tread lightly. Justine has been a life long veterinarian, until she starts veterinary school, and the older kids there make them all eat raw meat - I hope this is not a normal thing!? I had an interview at an animal school once, not for a vets, I am not that smart, but an animal school none the less, and no one mentioned about having to eat raw meat... From this, she gets a weird rash that the nurse puts down to food poisoning, again, can you get a rash from food poisoning?! That doesn't put her off though, from then on, she loves raw meat and this is also when it all gets mad.
It gets so mad. Just imagine if raw meat, and sex mixed together and didn't make you sick, that's pretty much this film - oh, and murder, there is some murder. Again though, I don't know what counts as spoilers so I don't want to say too much. Raw is a genuinely good film, and one that I really did enjoy. It is weird and it probably isn't for someone who maybe only watches rom coms or Disney, but hey, don't take my word for it.
Go in blind. I liked it!
You have no idea how excited I was when I first saw this on Prime - no idea! I was so damn excited. I have a thing for films that sound like they could be really bad, but actually turn out to be lots of fun, just like films such as Cockneys Vs Zombies - both fun and games. "A group of carpet fitters are sent on a job to an old Country house in the middle of nowhere. However they soon discover it's a trap set up by the savage, cannibalistic family, The Hannings. The carpet fitters are forced to fight for their lives or risk ending up being the evenings dinner. Unfortunately they are not quite your typical heroes!"
Don't knock this film until you're tried it! It's actually really great. From the get go, I liked it, and at no point did I think "This is shit", at no point at all. I even liked the characters a lot, each one was kind of funny in their own way, and each one surprised me - mainly due to when people died. By that, I mean, some you thought might survive, and be the hero, might not survive and might get turned into dinner...
I had some favorite characters, and all I am saying, not all of them live... Which is very sad, being all the hard work they did to try and survive. Sad, very sad.
I expected this to be low budget and good but not good on the special effects gore side of it - but I was wrong. I have to admit, I was wrong. The movie pretty much starts with someone getting their nose chopped off, and actually, it's pretty well done. Doing special effects myself, not to brag, but I do have a habit of thinking of how it's been done/how it could be done. In this film, like the nose being chopped off, I was pretty sure I knew how they did it, but I was still very impressed. I was happy with the amount of gore, and I was very happy that the people trying not to be eaten, were not all Chuck Norris followers who could all suddenly fight. Cannibals and Carpet Fitters does throw you a few curve balls, mainly, as I mentioned before, with who dies. Like Feast, the heroes aren't always the heroes. That's all I am going to say...
Overall, I really liked this film. I was drawn to it straight away and I was 99% sure I was in for a treat - only a teeny bit of doubt. Fan of comedy films that do not take them seriously at all? 100% watch this one - see, no doubt there at all. Do it - now. And then eat some Spam as apparently that's as close to human meat as you'll get without eating a human - bad news for me who loves Spam, maybe?
Good old Rob Zombie. He gives you what you want and expect when you watch one of his films. "Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, hellish compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns."
And what do you want and expect from a Rob Zombie film, I hear you ask? Well, I personally expect lots of blood and gore, obscenity and some form of boobs/sex/semi nude people. Do you get that in 31? Yes. Is it bad? Not at all. I watch Rob Zombie movies expecting all of that, and mainly wanting gore and blood - and I got that.
Warning though, don't watch it if you don't like some language/words for genital parts that aren't scientific... But then again, probably should've done your horror research before choosing a film if those kind of things aren't up your street. The film literally has numerous scenes about, and I quote and also apologize to anyone who is not a fan of swearing, "fucking holes" and not just one hole - numerous holes! And this is not just one scene either. I was watching this at the gym, with my big headphones on, and even I was worried someone might overhear it and kick me out. Alas, I finished it, and actually rather enjoyed it.
I had heard bad things about 31, but the storyline pulled me in. The whole scary compound, having them fight for their lives - yes please! And it was nice to see the normal Rob Zombie actors, like Sheri Moon Zombie, playing completely different characters, and well. Seeing them playing the damsels was actually so refreshing, and was a refreshment I didn't know I needed.
I also really liked the villains too, each one was different and Malcolm McDowell as the leader of them all - what a brilliant idea!
One thing I always like about a horror film is a twist, and one that 31 shocked me over, was how good the little twist at the end is. I did not expect it and did not see it coming, and honestly, it was the best way to line up the end to 31.
Overall, I really did enjoy this film. It will definitely not be for everyone - but then again, I am not everyone - but if you want some fun, it's a great load of fun! Adult fun without taking your clothes off.
Hell House LLC has been on my watch list for the longest time - honestly. I read an article, (good old Buzzfeed), on how people thought it was genuinely one of the scariest films they have ever seen - obviously, hopes were not high in that department, but I was intrigued. I thought I'd give it a go. "Five years after an unexplained malfunction causes the death of 15 tour-goers and staff on the opening night of a Halloween haunted house tour, a documentary crew travels back to the scene of the tragedy to find out what really happened. "
I am going to get down to business here, I liked Hell House LLC, I enjoyed Hell House LLC, but did it scare me, nope. I did like the story of it, set in a house made out like a scare attraction, but with something lurking inside... OOOOOOOOOOH. Honestly, I was into it. The characters are not the most likeable characters, none of them you really care about, and most are dumb in someways - "let's go and see what that noise was" dumb. But hey, that's what made it fun! One of them hears a noise and decides to stay in the house, a ghost appears, and I cheer due to seeing the ghost - best time of my life.
Hell House LLC was pretty good at tension, I'll give it that, but it wasn't particularly scary, I was very much able to sleep after watching it with no lights on, but I did jump at least once, and the masks throughout it - I wouldn't have wanted to bump into in a dark alley. I feel like the actual house itself, or set, should I say, was lacking in scares. The house was made to look like a scare attraction, but looked like it was decorated with spider webs most people would have in their lofts. Saying that though, I'd still go, I love a good scare attraction, and I do get that the characters were just starting out and probably had a low budget, so I'll give them that.
I am also seeing a theme with this review and my Bad Match review, the twist in both films. Hell House LLC had a pretty clever and well done twist too, and, like Bad Match, I saw it coming right at the last minute, which still allowed me to "No! What?! Wait!", which is one of my favourite things to do... I did thoroughly enjoy it.
Overall, Hell House LLC, you did well. Not really scary, but I found you very entertaining and I did very much enjoy watching you - now, I see you have sequels...
So, I got Amazon Prime - thought I'd give it a go with the free trial and if I am honest, I ain't giving it back. It has brought American Gods back into my life along with The Boys - not sponsored by the way, sadly. I pretty much got it after a watching Bad Match with a recent date on his Amazon Prime - and that must give you some ideas on what I thought of the film, it was good enough to not put me off Amazon Prime! "An internet-dating playboy's life spirals out of control after meeting a woman online."
I actually had this recorded and saved on my TiVo before seeing it on Prime, so I feel it was meant to be - or was it a warning due to my dating app usage...!? I wasn't expecting a lot, if I am being honest, mainly because I had never heard of it before, or any of the cast. But I stuck with it, and did not judge it before watching it, and actually, it wasn't too shabby. Not too shabby at all.
It starts out with a harmless one night stand - harmless as long as all parties are honest, and in this, they are not. Lessons are learnt in this, but mostly ones that common sense, let me explain...
Harris meets Riley on a dating app, and wants just a one night thing, just a night of fun, no strings attached - as said before, harmless fun. As long as everyone is honest and safe. Harris is not honest here though, at all. Naughty Harris leads Riley on, even when she appears in his flat and doesn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. At this point, I feel a sit down chat with no sharp objects in arms length is needed, but nope, Harris just hopes to say goodbye to her and never see her again. Psssh, it's like he has never seen a horror film!
Riley seems to be following him and getting even more stalkerish as the film goes on. Yet, Harris never ever tells her to bugger off, in the nicest way possible, until, like a lot of films, it's too late.
Now, I watched this with a guy, which was interesting to see the different sides of ghosting and who thought who was in the wrong in this film. Both of us, which was nice, agreed Harris was in the wrong, and should have let Riley down nicely, but still, stalking is wrong no matter how much you want to see someone again... without getting too deep...
One thing about this film though that did surprise me, was the twist, it had such a good twist, and one that neither of us saw coming until literally a few seconds before it was revealed. Were we shocked? Do bears poo in the woods is my answer?! And my lips are sealed from this far in as I do not want to spoil anything...
Overall, I was pretty damn happy with this film, it was definitely better than I was expecting. As normal, the characters are not the smartest, but hey, it's an average horror film - what would you expect?! I enjoyed it and I really enjoyed the twist at the end, like really enjoyed. So well done Bad Match.
Story time! So, a few ago I watched a film that popped up on Netflix - it was not a horror but I had heard great things about it, so I thought I'd give it a go. That film, has now become one of my favourites and I love it so much, but it also broke my heart, and still breaks it when I think about it now. I love it so much, it will probably get a little shout out soon at some point... That film is Call Me By Your Name, and before you say anything, there is a point to this long paragraph... Wounds came onto Netflix very recently, starring the lovely Armie Hammer, Oliver from Call Me By Your Name, so I jumped on this film to see it - I can't say that excitement was right for the film... "Disturbing and mysterious things begin to happen to a bartender in New Orleans after he brings home a phone that was left behind at his bar."
Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I definitely did not love this as much as Call Me By Your Name - and that's saying something as this was a horror. Wounds is not awful, the premise is great, it feels like a more updated version of Rings and is very smart with making something the majority of people use the villain. Phones are something that most people have and use everyday, and for that to basically turn against you - that's scary. I also liked the cast, Armie Hammer I am a fan of, and nothing against Dakota Johnson, heard she's great in the new Suspiria, but that's about where the praise starts and the confusion sets in...
Honestly, I watched this with the parents, and none of us, none, had any idea what just happened when the screen went black and the credits started to roll. Wounds feels like a film that could be leading you to this big twist or ending, as during it, you have no idea what's going on most of the time. It could literally go anywhere. A film feeling that open, is not always a bad thing, it leaves you wondering and can lead to some great twists and endings. Wounds does not have a good ending in my eyes. I sharn't spoil it, as no spoilers allowed here, but it just does not pull everything together in a neat little bow. I had to Google this, over and over again, and yet, still no idea. But, I am not the only one, apparently, it is a common thing that no one has any idea on what the ending means. It seems like it is left open so no one knows, but so people can make up their own ideas - still confusing though, and still one I wanted to have more answers for in my eyes.
Overall, Wounds was not as good as I wanted, I didn't go in expecting a lot, but I definitely feel the ending let it down. The film without the ending was an okay film, I don't feel I wasted an hour and a half, but I feel it could have been better. It was entertaining in ways, but just could have ended better, in my eyes.
Maybe I'll just go back to watching Call Me By Your Name, when I am ready to cry all over again.
What do you get when you put zombies and a big star cast? Not the great film you might have been expecting, that's for sure. "After an unprecedented global pandemic turns the majority of humankind into violent "Infected," a man gifted with the ability to speak the Infected's new language leads the last survivors on a hunt for Patient Zero and a cure."
I went into this expecting it to be kind of good, due to the great cast that included Matt Smith, Natalie Dormer and Stanley Tucci - but I had never heard of it. It felt like it had literally slipped under the radar, and a radar that I feel I would have taken notice of as it was only a few years ago... Especially with Natalie Dormer still being a big character in Game of Thrones at this time...in ways. That could lead to a massive GOT spoiler so I will step away...
Patient Zero did have a strong start, it felt new, and original, especially with the zombies. The zombies seemed to be more human than in most things, and seemed to have actual thoughts and feelings, compared to most other zombies - minus Bud.
It does seem to have a very good and new idea on zombies, and one that is actually quite scary. You can be a zombie but also still know who you are and what you're doing. During flashbacks, you learn that actually, the 'virus' seems to turn you into some kind of cocky arsehole to everyone, even your family. Looking at you in this, Stanley Tucci.
I liked this idea, of zombies being more like serial killers and thinking, than just meat suits, not that I have any hatred for normal zombies.... But that was where my likeness for Patient Zero kind of stopped...
From there, I just did not feel Patient Zero went anywhere. I didn't hate it, but I just thought other zombie films were better. This one seemed to run out of ideas, and just stuck with one idea the whole time, but not really diving into the idea of zombies having brains.
Again, I didn't hate it, but Shaun of the Dead is still my go to zombie film...
Here is the dangerous one, all my thoughts, out and about, spoiling everything - read this if you have seen it or if you're not that bothered. You have been warned.
"A couple travels to Sweden to visit a rural hometown's fabled mid-summer festival. What begins as an idyllic retreat quickly devolves into an increasingly violent and bizarre competition at the hands of a pagan cult." I have a lot of thoughts on this film, not a lot bad though, as I actually did like this film, but I feel my thoughts are all over the place and so better in bullet points, you're welcome! Enjoy! Oh, and once again, this is full of spoilers.
- Dani deserved better. Christian was very cute, but damn, he was a dick.
- The gore in Midsommar is great, especially the elders deaths. It isn't too over the top, but is enough to slap you in the face as you don't see it coming - at all. And when one of them doesn't die straight away - oh no!
- The opening tragedy and death of Dani's family is horrendous. That whole suicide murder scene is another massive slap to the face, and is filmed and done so well. Both that scene and the closing scene, are hands down, scenes that will stick with you. The first scene as well, that is a brutal death, both the suicide and the parents death.
- The last scene, with the burning of the sacrifices, again, like the first scene with the suicides, sticks with you. I have watched both numerous times over and over again. The last scene could be my favourite, it's just different and so cruel at the same time. Dani has to choose between her useless boyfriend and a stranger to burn, and she chooses Christian, and that's insane. He was shit to her and no one was there for her when she needed someone, but damn, he died! She seems to be happy about it, but he died, I kind of feel he didn't deserve it...
- Speaking of the last scene, I feel I understood it, but only because I Googled it... I missed the whole nine people to sacrifice thing, and I kind of got why Dani chose Christian and then smiled, but I have it is kind of left up to how you interpret it. Well, that's what I've seen online anyway. I take it as she is relieved and has a new family who feel how she feels when she needs it, and loses all the people who treated her badly. But still, it's all very dramatic...
- This was definitely my favourite scene as, yet again, I am back talking about it. Honestly, the music in this scene in perfect. As the small little yellow hut goes up in flames, that music goes through you, but in a good way. It's stunning and really fits.
- The sex scene. Let's talk about that. I am not sure it counts as an orgy as it technically is only two people having sex, and other people singing to them, and also helping Christian thrust. Yep, singing happens - imagine having sex and a group of naked women sing to you... Not only that, but one comes up behind you, cheeky, and helps you thrust. Massive turn on right...?
Honestly, I was sitting watching this, and I was lost a lot of the time, I really was. I had a lot of questions, but saying that, I really did enjoy this film. Something about it draws me to it. I am also trying not to compare it to Hereditary, but they are kind of similar, storylines and shots. The shots are so pretty and so similar. Comparing them though, I do think I prefer Midsommar... I have watched that trailer a lot and I would happily watch it again - planning on buying the directors cut as soon as it is out...
Overall, Midsommar did grow on me. I didn't think much of it to start with as I feel it was very hyped up and I had heard the terms "terrified", uttered with it - which it definitely is not, in my books. It is uneasy though, and weird, and you feel like you're on the same drugs as the characters. And I loved it! As mentioned, I want to watch it all again - I do kind of wish it was more scary/uneasy, but still, nothings perfect. And I am still going to go and buy the DVD...
Parents will love it too...
Oh, and I did love the whole thing that it's basically a crazy version of couples therapy, which, may I add, you can actually get due to this film. So smooth.
Everyone will be so thrilled, I have finally watched Midsommar, finally, but, I have a lot of thought to it... Thoughts that would spoil this film for anyone who has not seen it. Due to that, I shall be doing two reviews, like I have done before.
This one will be spoiler free, and the second one I won't hold back on - you have been warned. Here goes: spoiler free...
Midsommar, "A couple travels to Sweden to visit a rural hometown's fabled mid-summer festival. What begins as an idyllic retreat quickly devolves into an increasingly violent and bizarre competition at the hands of a pagan cult." is a film and a half. As promised, no spoilers, but it's very different. Like Hereditary, you won't know what on earth is going on, until the end, and even by the end, you might have to do some research.
I did really like it though, I must say, it's like couples therapy on lots and lots of drugs, but damn, it's endearing.
I liked it, yet I was very confused by it, and shocked, and just lost, so I googled it, and liked it even more when I understood it more. And now I want to watch it again. There, it's good, but confusing, but you still want to do it all again.
Now you've read that, you could watch it, and then read my full of spoilers one... Just an idea.
Back to my old friend CEX with this film, Summer of Sam. Had never heard of it, but I had heard and knew a fair bit about the serial killer behind it, Son of Sam, so I was pretty intrigued by this. "Spike Lee's take on the "Son of Sam" murders in New York City during the summer of 1977 centering on the residents of an Italian-American Northeast Bronx neighborhood who live in fear and distrust of one another."
This was not what I expected to be, it was definitely better than expected, but it was different. Summer of Sam is based around the town Berkowitz was active, and he actually takes a back seat in this film. It's more about fictional characters who live in the town, and more from the eyes of someone who had no idea about the murders - let's say, someone from the time it was set.
Really, the only you even see Berkowitz, is in weird flashbacks with a dog, and when he is caught, so really he's pretty much a supporting character and compared to other films and tv, that is a very original way of doing a film about a serial killer.
The main characters in Summer of Sam, are some interesting characters indeed to say the least. Maybe think of angrier versions of the FRIENDS characters, with more swearing and stripping... Yep, I said stripping. Adrian Brody in my eyes was my all time favourite character in this. He plays Richie, who is not only a stripper, but also sleeps with older thirsty men who watching the show on the downlow. Nothing wrong with either of these, as long as both parties are safe, (there is my TED talk for today), but both seem so out of place in this film. It's about how the people of the town are reacting to a serial killer, and then bam, there is a stripper. It makes it more memorable though, even if you can't remember the name, "It's that film with the serial killer and the stripper", "Ohhh, I know the one!".
Overall, I did like this film, I thought the idea of taking it from a different angle, and not so much on the killer was clever but also risky - and who doesn't love a risk taker. Yes, it's not the best, and I feel the music was kind of a last thought. It was just over the top of some scenes, but didn't actually fit to that scene, such as sad sounding blaring music over a passionate sex scene - but hey, I still enjoyed it.
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..