BEWARE THE MOON REVIEWS
Yes, another classic coming at you on this lockdowned day. "A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth."
Ah man, I really did want to like this film! I had always heard about it through that grapevine of horror, and how it was a classic and has a massive following. But I did not like it, at all really.
I feel They Live, for me, was one of this films that sounds better than it actually is.
The whole idea of only being able to see aliens with sunglasses is a great concept, and even with the subliminal messages, that's a great little message for the real world. One that could seem realistic to some. I also saw clips of They Live before watching it, and it looked like great corny fun - but I didn't really get that.
I love some corny fun, especially with from the 80s, and on the outside, you do get that. Once you start watching, it feels like some sort of build to a gay porn. Not a bad thing if that's what you wanted - especially in these lockdown times, (stay safe!), but I wanted a corny 80s movie, and I only really got that from the clothing and some of the catchphrases. Let's be fair, I love a good cheesy catchphrase, and They Live did have a good few - "I've come to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I am all out of bubblegum". See, how good is that!?
If the rest of the film had been as corny as the quote, I'd have been loving this film, but I just was not feeling it. I can see why it has a following and is a cult classic, but I just wasn't into it. Cool sunglasses though...
What a classic of a film this is... "While returning from their prom night, a group of teenagers meet Leatherface, who along with his family is notorious for his obsession of killing people." The film that both the stars of did not want anyone to know about. But to be fair, I have seen worse...
I was expecting a terrible, horrendous film, but I didn't really get that. It's not good, let's be honest, it's nowhere near going to be in anyone's best horror films ever lists. But it's not boring, and as many know, that in my eyes, makes it not an awful film. Boring films are awful, this was entertaining - entertaining in a 'watch with all your friends and laugh' kind of way.
This is a film to watch when you want to turn your brain off, there really is not much to it, storyline and character wise and you really get what it says on the tin, and probably what you're expecting to get when you decided to watch it. Character wise, it felt like a B-Movie version of I Know What You Did Last Summer - less slasher and more B-Movie.
I have to say, I did kind of like seeing Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey in completely different roles in some ways - even if it is probably the one and only time and isn't in the best film.
Honestly though, I don't understand why they didn't want anyone to know this exists and why they hate it as a whole. I feel most good actors have done bad films before - mostly bad horror films - and it doesn't take anything from their career. I for one like actors more when they help the horror community by doing horror films, even the bad ones.
They are both great actors and we all know that, even with this film out there - see, nothing to be worried about!
I was expecting this film to be horrendous, but really, it was bad but not that bad. It's entertaining to say the least, and even mixes it up with Leatherface in a bit of drag, and who doesn't want to see that?! It gets weird, let's say that but never boring. I wouldn't rush out to see this, but maybe if you were having friends round to watch B-Movie style films, pop this one on.
Well, let me tell you a story - it's not that exciting, don't get too excited... I have had Plan 9 From Outer Space on DVD for years, and I have only just watched it... I know it and know it's meant to be one of the worst films ever made, and has a full cult following - I knew a lot about it and now I can finally say I have seen it. "Evil aliens attack Earth and set their terrible "Plan 9" into action. As the aliens resurrect the dead of the Earth, the lives of the living are in danger."
First thing to say, it is definitely not the worst film I have ever seen. It's not really that good, the acting is hammy and the effects aren't great - I did especially love the high tec h sounds the doors made when they were opened... And before anyone says anything, I know that this film was made in 1959 and so the effects probably would have dated, but this film looks like it was made to look like a B movie on purpose. It looks like it was made to look bad - basically. I feel that made it sound like it is a really bad film and I didn't like it - oh no, you would be wrong. I love B-movies! It's not the best film, but it's entertaining and in my eyes, that takes it out of being called the worst film ever made. The worst films are the ones that are boring in my eyes, and this is not that.
It also has a Twilight Zone feeling to it, mainly at the beginning and the end, where it opens with Criswell sitting at a table, like Rod Serling in The Twilight Zone. It also ends like this, and honestly, I was loving it, I feel more films and TV shows should start and end like this.
I have to say, one scene in this film really did tickle me - a whole five minute scene consisted of the characters staring into the dark. The camera also shows a policeman who is also staring into the dark, who then to get a better view, moves from his front car window, to the back. And then Dracula appears out of nowhere and apparently no one saw him. It's the most entertaining seen I think I might have ever seen. Ever.
Overall, Plan 9 From Outer Space is not as bad a film as I was expecting. It's not great at all, and it is very much a B Movie, but it's entertaining, and that to me doesn't make it the worst film. It's corny and it's not the best acted, but it is fun! I can definitely see why it's got a cult following...
Zombie also walks towards one man. "Get back, you're too close!" - bit of COVID-19 there for you. #stayhome and #staysafe
Before watching Mayhem, it really did give me a Belko Experiment feel. People stuck in an office block, getting very violent, but turns out, that's about how far the similarities stop. "A virus spreads through an office complex causing white collar workers to act out their worst impulses."
Mayhem is a very easy and fun film to watch, it's simple to watch and simple to follow - and honestly, sometimes that is all you want. Mayhem is a film that follows pretty much all the office cliches. Nasty bosses, who get nastier the higher up the floors you go, with the big big BIG boss being on the top floor, and the less important closer to the floor. The two heroes are out spoken, and kicking ass, while also getting into trouble as they go - well, when they were working that is. The others in between are just the same old bullies mainly, but maybe that could just be the virus...
The virus, was something I loved, it didn't just make people angry or violent, oh no, it made you feel whatever your worst and deepest impulse was. Cue people shagging on desks and stealing mugs, amongst other things.
I feel every time I mention enjoying gore and violence in films, I immediately go up in everyone's psycho books - but honestly, I just love some fake gore! Fake! I make a point of saying fake! And Mayhem has plenty, plenty of office style violence, just imagine all the fun that can be had with staplers and mice and keyboards!? The ideas are endless! And that is what happens here, every weapon is pretty much out of the office which makes for some very fun deaths, and some that I very much enjoyed.
Overall, I liked Mayhem. It's a very little movie, with very fun gore and office humor. Makes a Monday to Friday job a little bit more fun...
I actually did not mind the remake of I Spit on Your Grave, they got a bit meh, as they went on, but the first one wasn't too shabby. This remake though, is the original, and is, in my eyes, is all pretty meh. "After a young writer (Camille Keaton) is brutally raped and left for dead by four men, she systematically hunts them down one by one to exact a terrible vengeance."
This film has been on my wishlist for a while, it is a classic and video nasty after all, and I finally found it on a boxset I bought called Box of the Banned. Basically a DVD boxset of banned films - great, huh? Anyway, it was the first disc in the book, so I went for it - I did not like it.
I had heard it was disturbing, and that it wasn't nice, and obviously it being a video nasty, and I get that. There are numerous rape scenes, and rape is never a good thing, and they are nasty to watch - no lie there. But, those aren't why I didn't like this film. I just didn't enjoy it, I couldn't get into it, I wasn't a fan of the camera angles - camera angles can make or break a film in my eyes - the acting was okay, but I didn't like how slow a burn this film was. It was a very slow builder of a film, with a slow burn, but it didn't really go anywhere, it had some big scenes, such as the rape scenes which is why this film is pretty much known, but even the death scenes weren't that great.
In my opinion, the remake is better. The original just felt like it was on one level, one mellow level that just didn't blow me away. It's a classic, and a video nasty, but that didn't mean I'd like it. Good concept, and great empowering female character, but did not do it for me.
Something you might not know about me - because if you did, it could mean that you were a bit of a stalker - but I used to be a huge Disney and Nickelodeon fan - might still be... This had not one Disney actor in it, but also a Nickelodeon actor too - I hit the jackpot. "The true, haunting story of young Jeffrey Dahmer -- the shy adolescent in high school who becomes a notorious serial killer years later."
Ross Lynch, famously from Disney channel and off a film I love, Teen Beach Movie, (Yes, I did admit that), plays Dahmer himself, and honestly, he looks identical to Dahmer at that age, it's actually scary. The film is based on a book of the same name, written, fun fact right here, by John 'Derf' Backderf who was actually one of Dahmer school friends - meaning it should be fairly close to the truth. Should be. (In My Friend Dahmer, Derf is played by Alex Wolff, who is a well known Nickelodeon actor, and is also known as the son in Hereditary - he has an easier time in this film, that's for sure...). It's also shot in Dahmer's actual childhood house, if that isn't a little bit creepy but also a little bit impressive with how much work went into this film.
A lot of work did go into this film, and it pays off, it is very close to the truth, a lot went in to getting the actors like the real people they were playing, and it does stick to the book, and nothing is added to 'make it more glamorous' or so. My Friend Dahmer sticks to what it knows, and sticks to getting the audience the correct facts. It doesn't try and sell you more than it can, none of it is a lie. It sticks to the truth and really does not give a toss if you wanted murder and blood and guts - YOU WON'T GET IT.
My Friend Dahmer covers Dahmer's younger years, no killing is done in this, there is no gore, or blood. I have to be honest, I didn't know that, I did kind of go in expecting to see a murder or two, but I wasn't that disappointed when I didn't get any. My Friend Dahmer shows you who he was, and does that well. Honestly, you don't come out of this liking him that much...
Overall, I enjoyed this film, it gave a whole new light to serial killer movies, and gave you a whole new feel to them, one without the deaths and killing. I wouldn't say it would go in my top ten, but I still enjoyed it, and it made me want to read up on everything to do with it, so that's good. I did love the ending though. I don't want to spoil it, but I will hint, Stephen Hicks is all I am going to say.
Wow, what a film, and what an angering film. One that really gets your blood boiling. "Never take your mistress on an annual guys' getaway, especially one devoted to hunting - a violent lesson for three wealthy married men."
An affair that starts out as sexy, and ends in a lot of blood. And there is a lot of blood, so much blood - and I loved it. I loved the revenge part of it, this is a film that really will get your emotions going - from the start of it and seeing what happens to Jen, and the fact that one of them raped her, one of them watched, and then the guy she's seeing tries to kill her for something his mates did. Damn, blood is boiling.
Revenge is much better than Revenge the programme that my mum used to love - just another little disclaimer. But back to the real review, Revenge gives you that horrible feeling in your stomach where you know it's going to go from awful to awful. You know the storyline, and you know where this is going to go, and where that goes is a brilliant cat and mouse story.
Jen escapes and the men try and kill her - that isn't a spoiler, it's in the trailer, but damn, it's brutal. They leave her for dead, but she's a strong, independent woman where one fall off a cliff can't kill her - she just pulls herself off the tree stumb she lands on, and carries on. Yep, she literally pulls herself off a tree stump that she lands on after the fall, and carries on - mad. It's gory, and great, and just brutal. It angers you as a film, and it hurts you, for someone to go through what she went through and for her to have to fight after what she went through at the start - it's a damn hard film.
It's not hard in a gritty way, but it is hard to watch due to wanting Jen to win so so bad. You want to get out of all of this alive and on top, and you want the others to suffer - and with it being a cat and mouse chase - it does very well with the tension. The whole film is an edge of the seat moment, even right from the start. You know what this film is about, and you know it's going to happen, and the wait is horrible. And does it ever let you relax? Not at all, are you mad?! The whole film is just a big chase. A chase that I won't spoil so I shall stop here...
Overall, Revenge is a great film, such a great film. Damn overpowering and damn tense. It has it all - what you read about it, is all true, it is as good as the hype.
Disclaimer: this is not set on a rock in Brighton. It is in fact, set on a mountain trail in America - can't go buying any rock here or have a paddle in the sea. "A park ranger spends the night guarding a potential crime scene on a remote mountain trail."
I found I had a like/hate relationship with this film. I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it, so let's say, a like/dislike relationship with it. I feel it started kind of well, the characters weren't awful, the build up isn't dreadfully dull, but then it just kind of slows down a bit. Wendy goes off, and gets lost. And not just a little bit lost, she wanders off onto a whole different hill side that is not covered by where she works - now, I know America is big, but she must have been walking for hours. And she was only doing some form of leafleting.
Poor Wendy, stuck somewhere she has no idea where she is, and damn, she forgot to charge her phone, and it's now almost dead. Dammit, Wendy!
Wendy's phone is almost dead, but before that dies, someone else has died before - Wendy comes across a dead body. Oh no, can Wendy's day get even worse?! Well yes, it can, she is told no one will get to her until morning - and again, the film slows down again. It picked up as she saw the dead body and the tension piled up around that, she also may have seen a mysterious person down with the dead body too - so hello tension, but then it drops.
I had a lot of questions about this film, just mainly common sense really. Found myself asking why Wendy isn't using a walkie talkie to contact the office, or why she doesn't have one on her - turns out she does but for some reason she doesn't use it until her phone dies. Something I didn't understand. Just little common sense things like that stood out to me.
I almost also forgot to mention, I watched this with my friend on a Friday afternoon, and he fell asleep. He was wrapped up in my slanket - my blanket with arms - but still, he fully nodded off.
Overall, Body at Brighton Rock was an alright film, it had it's good parts and tension, but it didn't seem to lead off those, which I feel it should have. It had a good twist, one that did play out well, but I just didn't feel it took advantage of what story it had going.
Most actors can be very easily type cast, and some can stick to the same sort of roles, but not Seann William Scott - oh no. Don't call him Stifler in this, because he might just kill you... "Haunted by dark memories of childhood abuse, Evan, a social worker and first-time dad, struggles to keep his need for revenge in check."
I went into Bloodline blind, had never heard of it, never seen a trailer, nothing. But hey, I needed a film to watch at the gym and I liked the sound of it. Did I regret my decision? Not at all! Actually, Bloodline is actually a super fun film.
I didn't hate it at all, really, I was super into it. Especially as it was super bloody... And bloody out of nowhere too. Without giving too much away, one of the first murders is a a stab to the neck, that is then pulled out violently, literally breaking the skin and slitting the neck completely. Honestly, it's great. Out of nowhere and great.
I do have a complaint though, it's very dark and that is not ideal for gym lighting... Just for the records...
I thought Bloodline was done really well actually, I liked how they used flashbacks, not too much, and just enough so you hadn't forgotten who people were - that can happen a lot. I also really liked the twists, again, all very understandable, and not just one, a few. Not one after the other either, spread out, and one especially was like a slap to the face. If there wasn't a horrible virus going round, my jaw may have hit the floor...
Overall, Bloodline was a good film, I liked the gore, I liked the actual story of it, it was a bit dark and indie feeling on occasion, but it definitely did not take away from how much I liked this. Wouldn't pop it in my top list of horrors, but I would recommend it if asked.
Oh, and Stifler definitely does not make an appearance in this, it is most definitely some great acting from Seann William Scott who does portray a secretly manic, serial killer, ("kind of like Dexter" is thrown around with this film a lot), really well and he does definitely pull it off.
You want to watch a weird film, a super gory film, and one that could make you feel a little bit dirty? Girl on the Third Floor might just be for you! "A man tries to renovate a dilapidated house for his growing family, only to learn that the house has other plans."
Oh boy, where do I start? Well, I saw the trailer for this months ago, probably back in 2019, and I wanted to lay my eyeballs on it straight away - sadly, it was never mentioned again over here in the UK, unless I missed it... It was never mentioned again, UNTIL NOW, when Netflix has kindly added it. And what day did I decide to watch it on? A Sunday, with the parents sitting either side of me - I know what you are thinking: Aren't they lucky parents, because that is such a Sunday movie, and such a nice film to watch. Well yes, yes they are, and here's why...
Girl on the Third Floor is a weird film, so bizarre, a film that will make you say "whaaaaaat?" a lot, and one that never really reveals anything until the ending. And you know what, I dug it! I honestly was into this the whole time. Did I have any idea what was going on? Nope! Did I care? Not really. I had all the gore I wanted and, not to be too crude, but the house was oozing something that looked like semen, and blood - talk about a body horror. And not even a body horror, a house body horror - now that's new.
Honestly, I can say I have never seen a house drip semen before, and I don't think I knew how to react to that, what I knew how to react to though, was how Don, the main guy, was touching it all with no gloves or anything on. Not only that, he was renovating the whole house with no gloves, no mask, no nothing - was he mad?! The house ejaculated on him, and he didn't even feel the need to watch protection?! Have save sex, kids!
I really did dig this film, the whole film, no idea what was going on, and I liked that. You have to stick with the film right up until the end to know who the mysterious Sarah was, why the house keeps getting excited and all that other shit that comes with it - no shit is in this film though, as a warning. That is not a bodily fluid the house lets out...
I did think I had the end down to a T and I liked the ending, but then I wanted more on the film and so Googled it... and damn, people have a lot of different ideas on it. Ideas that I can't say due to spoilers, but let's just say, I fell down that rabbit hole and now what I thought, might not be what the director thought...
Anyway, this film is mental, so mental, but I liked it. It satisfied me gore wise, and body horror wise, and honestly, some days you just need to watch a film that makes you feel a bit dirty and see a house get a bit turned on, rightttttt?
Just call me a sick bugger, maybe.
Oh, and remember, the dog is just an actor...
Watching horror films since like 2003, when I could stand dead bodies..