Over here in the UK, one of the best films of the year, (in my eyes, and I know I haven't seen it yet but it's about a giant shark, so how can it be bad?!), is being released; THE MEG. I love a shark movie and I love sharks, shark movies are some of my favourite things and I have seen a fair few. Here I am, about to talk about all kinds of shark films, ones I like and love, and even a few I meh...
Disclaimer though: don't let these films make you believe sharks are evil, they are not in anyway. They are just wild animals and who don't even like the taste of meat, they only bite as they don't have arms to feel. Be nice to them and love them, pleaseeeeeeeee.
First up, my favourite, Deep Blue Sea. Yes, shock horror, Jaws is not my favourite, judge me allllllllll you want but I shall not change to peer pressure! Deep Blue Sea is one of those films that is so bad and so entertaining, it's good. Every time it is on, hands down, I'm watching it. It used to scare me to bits as a child but now, we have a love love and fully love relationship. We made up. "Searching for a cure to Alzheimer's disease, a group of scientists on an isolated research facility become the prey, as a trio of intelligent sharks fight back."
I am going to mention another shark film that is actually really unknown, but actually really damn good, Bait. "A freak tsunami traps shoppers at a coastal Australian supermarket inside the building - along with 12-foot Great White Sharks." Bait is a nice little treat, it's hardly known, but yet, it's good - for one, it's set in a mall, that's original to start with. I knew a few of the actors in it, one being out of one of the best underrated horror films ever, The Loved Ones, so I had some trust. Bait is a cute little number, not the scariest thing ever, but it'll pass the time.
Onto the one you've all been waiting for, the daddy of the shark films : Jaws. "A local sheriff, a marine biologist and an old seafarer team up to hunt down a great white shark wrecking havoc in a beach resort." I have to put it out there, this is not one of my favourite shark films... The thing with shark films, is I like them being bad, but so bad they are good - Jaws is a great film, too good in a way. Sounds weird but that's why I don't love it. Mum loves it though...
Who doesn't love these films?! The Sharknado Franchise. Corny, pretty bad graphics and Tara Reid acting - enough said.
I watched the next one on the list due to how hot the main guy is...don't judge, everyone is shallow... Shark Killer. Again, another not well known one about people after a diamond that has been swallowed by a shark - but it's not that memorable. Entertaining but not that great. If you fancy eye candy and sharks though- go for it, just ignore the rest.
One film that seems to be 'terrifying' due to it being based on true events is Open Water, and Open Water is also a film I didn't find scary in the slightest. I actually really didn't like the film if I am honest... "Based on the true story of two scuba divers accidentally stranded in shark infested waters after their tour boat has left." The concept of it is scary but that's it.
Similar to Open Water, and similar in my dislike for Open Water, is Adrift, which is technically Open Water 2... "When a group of friends fail to lower the ladder of their boat, they find themselves stranded in the surrounding waters and struggle to survive." And again, I didn't like it. Both Open Waters have a good concept to them, but are insanely slow and just not what I expected. I wanted more gore - if you can call me gore shallow.
Last on the list, (as this list could go on for days..), is a film I have watched recently and so won't say much as I will do a full review on it soon, but I will say I liked it and loved the concept; 47 Metres Down. Tense and the sharks aren't killers due to just sharks - woo hoo.
So, I love sharks and shark films, my favourite is Deep Blue Sea, hands down, but I will watch anything with sharks.
Going back to my disclaimer at the beginning, sharks aren't scary or mean or serial killers as movies portray them. They don't have hands so that's why they bite, they don't actually like the taste of us and every time human is bitten, we have gone into their home! They are not monsters - cows kill more people, yet, everyone loves them. Love all animals and don't believe everything you see in entertainment and media. That is all. Have a good day.
So, I definitely haven't done a list article for what feels like years, I feel I could have been in a nappy when I last did one... a child one, not one of those adult ones - not that I am judging if you like to wear them, sure they are lovely and comfy.
Wow, I went off topic a lot then... What I was basically trying to say, before I went off on one, was this is my first article in a while, and what better article to start off with, again, than one to get the blood pumping... Best Kisses.
Each kiss will be from horror, or at least semi horror, at least, an aspect of horror, let's say that...
One kiss that came to mind, and one that I am pretty sure a lot of people who saw the film would remember, the kiss between Megan Fox and Amanda Seyfried in Jennifer's Body. Yeahhhhh, you know the one I mean... This scene is sexy man, kind of similar to the old 'lesbian seduces the straight girl' porn story, but with a bigger budget and better acting. I know what you're thinking, you heard this film wasn't that good acting wise - I didn't think it was that bad, going back to my point, better acting than a porno with the same story, and it would be less embarrassing if your mum walked in as you were watching this.
This film has an element of murder and thill, and it's a great kiss so it has to be allowed, this is the kiss/kisses, and there are a lot, from Wild Things, between Neve Campbell, Denise Richards and Matt Dillion. Wild Things is not a bad film at all, it's not the best but it's not bad, it's pretty much one of those films that is sexy from the start to end. Like a film version of a soap opera in a way, well, this one is anyway - lots of secrets and twists and a threesome, I haven't even mentioned the threesome much yet. It is a very expensive threesome, and by that I mean people get covered in champagne. People get wet, by champagne - filthy minds you all! Three sexy actors, getting it onnnnnnn, with horrible drink that is champagne. Yeah, I'm not a champagne fan...
Obviously I have to have my favourite horror film on here, An American Werewolf in London and the very sensual and passionate shower scene in it... Ohhhh, get me using big words. This is a great scene, between David Naughton and Jenny Agutter, getting a little bit steamy in a fairly unsteamy shower to be fair... I think every young boy, and some girls, remember this scene and loved this scene. It's sexy but classy, obviously, it's Jenny Agutter, Railway Children and now a midwife.
This next one is fairly similar to the first one, with it being girl on girl again - the kiss from The Babysitter. While playing truth or dare and before everyone starts getting murdered, the two girls were dared to kiss, and they went for it. I bet most truth or dare kisses aren't like that, most are probably drunk and slobbery... This one is the opposite really, this is on another level and probably made everyone wish this is what truth or dare is really like... As opposed to everyone being drunk and you getting stuck with the weirdo who know one really knows...
When I say Cabin in the Woods to you, what kiss do you think of? The one outside with Chris Hemworth? Nahhhhhhhhhh. This is the one where Anna Hutchison has a little snog with the severed head of a wolf on the wall. A very very dusty one may I add. Not my type but hey, whatever floats your boat. She is a ballsy girl and goes for it, she puts her all and all of her tongue into this wolf. I can't not put her on here, she is a trier.
Last one for now, this is a little honerable mention to one of my favourite TV shows and live action film of that TV show and also one of my favourite celebrity couples... Freddie Prince Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar are the couple - favourite celeb couple, EVER. And the film, any ideas? Scooby Doo, live action at the end, when the gang saves the day and they share that super cute but super real kiss. Scooby Doo is also about ghosts and such, so it's allowed on here... Probably the most PG one on this list to be fair...
I love a good little hidden gem - something no one has ever seen, a film that isn't mentioned a lot and so isn't done to death. I have a long list of them that I recommend whenever someone asks, and I will try and get them all in...try is the main word here. It might end up either very very long orrr I might forget some, or both - anything could happen...
My all time favourite underrated movie, ever, Stitches. 'A clown comes back from the dead to haunt those who took his life during a fatal party mishap.' I'll be honest, I did not have high hopes at all for this film, for one, it was pretty low budget, a pretty unknown cast, (Ross Noble being the most known, with Tommy Knight from The Sarah Jane Adventures following second, and it's British... I don't have anything against British films at all, some are amazing, but others can be bad - I am looking at you, Indie Films.. Sometimes they can just be a bit weird...
Stitches though - nope, this film is amazing. I get asked to recommend horror films quite a bit, as soon as someone finds out about this website normally, and this one is normally at the top of the list. It has it all, well, the main things, gore, and comedy, and for some people, a little bit of romance while also being scary. Well done, Stitches.
Another British one here, Boy Eats Girl - sounds like a bad porno right?! 'A boy declares his love for his girlfriend, only to die the same night. He is brought back to life by his mother as a flesh-craving zombie, who sires more teen undead while trying to control his, er, appetite for his beloved.' I have to be honest, it has been a while since I last saw this, but I have been meaning to watch it again - it's a right gem. Even the trailer is good, it looks like it was made on a budget, which it was, and please don't judge it because Samantha Mumba is in it.. remember, that singer?
It's good and it's an original storyline, boy dies and mum brings him back but he comes back like the boy from Pet Semetary - not the same being as when he died. It's a great film! What more would you want?!
Following on from a slight zombie film, I shall carry on with another unknown one, Wasting Away is next up, or, its other title, (which is incredible by the way!), Aaah! Zombies!!. 'Turning the zombie film on its head, this film is an oddball comedy from the perspective of the brain munching monsters themselves.' This is one smart movie - like so so smart. It takes the whole zombie thing, and turns it right on its head, throws it around and just flips it. This a zombie film that shows you it from the zombies point of view, because they do still have views... Can't leave out those zombies and their feelings.. The characters in this eat some ice cream that has some type of toxic waste in it, turning them into zombies, but without them knowing - it's as brilliant as it sounds. Low budget and brilliant.
Now, I have realised that all of the films I have written about so far have been comedies, and I actually did not mean to do that - so here is one that is a bit more serious - Hush. Nope, not that Hush about the mute lady, this is another one, one I would say is just as good, if not better. 'A young couple on a motorway journey are drawn into a game of cat and mouse with a truck driver following a near accident.' This movie is a little gem if there ever was one, it keeps you entertained the whole way through it, it keeps you on your toes - I lose count of how many times you would relax only to realise something else is wrong. It is also quite realistic, like we have all been on roadtrips, and stopped at petrol stations... the horror of this film takes place in one - never will you look at one in the same way again!!
The next one, I am not sure how unknown it techinally is, as I did see it on Netflix and also shown on the Horror Channel, but still... Grabbers is up next. 'When an island off the coast of Ireland is invaded by bloodsucking aliens, the heroes discover that getting drunk is the only way to survive.' What more can I say about this film than what the information bit said on it, it's insanely clever, I mean - DID YOU READ WHAT IT'S ABOUT?! To survive everyone has to get drunk, in Ireland, and I heard that the cast actually practised this by getting drunk and seeing how they reacted.. Brilliant.
It's a great story, and it's simple, if you didn't pay your full attention onto it, doesn't matter, you still get it. But, it is that good a film, you'll be watching it all, so no worries there..
The posters are also beautiful for this film - just look at that masterpiece!!
This last film - as I can't really think of anymore at the moment - is a film that when I watched it for the first time, I was shocked was not a classic. Student Bodies. Heard of it? Nope! No one ever has! 'A murderer known as "The Breather" kills off high schoolers.'
Students Bodies should hands down be a classic - it is the Scary Movie of the eighties and who does not like corny eighties films!? I would say it definitely influenced micky takes, like Scary Movie and Stan Helsing and all those. And Scream, Scream picks up on the horror cliches that every horror movie uses in someways, and so does this, even including a little body count at some points in the corner of the screen. It's just clever and thought out, and needs more to be known more - you heard about it here first! Go!
So, that's it, my top underrated horror films that you probably haven't even heard of or seen, which is a huge shame... As I said to my dad, bet there are lots of more I think of as soon as I publish this, by hey ho, here is a start! I was even super nice and included links so you could find the films easily too - aren't I nice?!
I love a good killer animal movie, for some reason they just really really excite me, some are better than others, mind you, but here are some of my favourites.. And obviously, I have probably forgotten some...
My first one is one of my favourite animals, a very misunderstood creature thanks to many films portraying them in a way that is pretty far from the truth - that animal is the shark, mainly the Great White. And I know that Jaws is the most obvious and well known shark film out there, but there is one that I prefer just a bit more - Jaws is a great classic of a film, but Deep Blue Sea is better. I can already hear people shouting four letter words at me, but I really do prefer Deep Blue Sea. Jaws is good, and I love sharks so any film with them is pretty much going to be watched but Deep Blue Sea just has that lovely corniness to it that I adore. I did like The Shallows too, but I do love cheese, and Deep Blue Sea has all that and more. What more could you want in a film than killer, very very smart and purple sharks?!
Very similar to the first entry, a creature that lives under water and is pretty much always wet - my next entry is Piranha. This one is similar to the first entry because like the first one, I haven't gone for the 'classic' of the bunch. I actually don't really like the original Piranha, I actually think I got a bit bored of it to be fair.. Shocking, I know... Wanna know the most shocking thing though? I actually love Piranha 3D.. like love it. It is just fun and corny and gory, all the things I love about films pretty much. All the stuff that the original does not have and I am not going to lie and say it's better just because it is the original... So there. You can quote me on that, admit to anyone I love Piranha 3D! I will shout it from the roof top. Piranha's are scary, and this film does make you scared of them still, just with more cheese and boobs..
I have a cat, and am a massive animal lover, my cat is basically my baby, which makes it kind of scary because I am single and I do worry that I might turn into a lonely cat lady, but that is for another day... I have a cat who looks very very alike to Church from Pet Sematary, before and after he dies and gets buried. So of course I had to include Church, the handsome cat, and of course I am not biased at all... He's freakin' evil when he comes back, not as evil and hated as I hated the kid, but still blood thirsty, which I feel makes him a bit evil... Unlike my handsome bugger who isn't evil at all...apart from for a few flies he tends to eat.
The next one, I feel it is only right that I follow a cat with a dog - turns out, there are many more evil dog films than cats. I guess dogs can be scarier than cats, maybe more of a threat too in some eyes. Some eyes, not mine.
I shall start this entry with the film that most people automatically think of if you ever said "name a film about an evil dog to them", I mean, if you ever said that to someone... Their answer would 97% of the time, (please don't test me on that.), would be Cujo, the not so loveable Saint Bernard who tries to eat Dee Wallace in a car. With some of the other entries, I have to admit, I actually have yet to see this film, but I do love big dogs, so any chance I get to big them up, I will. I just love big dogs, even evil ones.. fake evil ones that is. Being that the dog who played Cujo had to have his tail tied down during film as he just kept wagging his tail - HOW CUTE.
Another dog on this list, that makes a pretty good film better, is Sam from I Am Legend, and by pretty good film, I mean it's a good film, it's not one of my all-time faves, but I would watch it again. But Sam, oh Sam. Her and Will Smith's relationship literally warms a stone cold heart, like mine, it literally makes the film watchable and enjoyable. Well, enjoyable for most of it - I won't say anymore, but if you've seen the film you know what part I am talking about.. that part...
Now I have one more dog film to mention, the problem is though, I am mentioning it because it was so shockingly bad, but I saw it ages ago and I can't remember what it is called... I think, from doing a wee bit of research, it might be called The Breed. All I remember are that people are being attacked by a group of dogs, and at one point the people try to get away from them by swimming, to which the dogs follow... This makes for a very very comedic scene of dogs doing the doggy paddle towards them... Whoever thought it would make a good and scary scene in this movie... I do not know what was going through your head..
Farm Animals are not looked on as being scary, which is probably why only one film with them in comes to mind - Black Sheep. Killer sheep who will either eat you or turn you into a zombie sheep - what is there not to love?! I promise you, if you want to watch a film about killer sheep, watch this one - not that there are many others, but still..
I have probably missed some, but this was getting long and I could feel anyway reading this aging, so I shall finish it off. I love and need more creature films, I am very excited for 47 Metres Down.. but until I get to see that, I may just have to watch Slugs all over again...
I love horror films. Most people love horror films. Horror films bring you closer together if you watch them with people, and release the same happy hormones; endorphins, as sex, chocolate and exercise.
With most horror films, you know what you are in for, most follow a story of happiness, then something goes wrong and a hero steps forward.
Step forward good looking man, who women drop their knickers for... Or step forward an average looking ginger man who has never fought in his life. Some horrors do not always follow this routine, and this list is of some of my personal favourites.
Yes, little old lady, even you could save the world from a zombie attack!
Oh, and did I mention this list would be riddled with spoilers? No, well now you know.
From Dusk Till Dawn is a brilliant classic of a film and a film that mixes horror with some type of thriller/crime genre. It also stars two, maybe one and a half actually, of the most unlikely heroes ever and their little sidekicks. During From Dusk Till Dawn, Richard and Seth Gecko take a family of three hostage to try and head to Mexico, only to be met by a bunch of vampires. Then follows the criminals becoming the heroes and actually helping the hostages, and not in a “I'll need you for later” sort of way..
The Gecko Brothers, mainly Seth as Richie has been bitten half way through the film, end up saving the whole day with the help of their hostages, who'd have thunk! And who says people can't change, and that George Clooney is ugly? Exactly, no one.
Now, I know there were technically two heroes in this film, but this countdown is about unlikely ones, and one of the last characters is very likely. A group of friends go and stay in a little cabin in the woods, nothing ever happens in them, and after a lot of dramatic things happen, the group is cut down to just two at the end as the credits roll.
Now, I know what you're saying, as I mentioned above this ends with two survivors and this one only mentions one. Well, Dana and Marty are the survivors in this film, but Dana is the virgin of the group, (turns out she isn't, but for some reason counts as one compared to the rest of her friends.), and so as a virgin, she pretty much cannot and will not die in typical horror movies. Thus making her a likely hero.
Marty, on the other hand, is the druggy of the group, the one who never really survives, being that the rules of a horror film are that if you do drugs you will not survive. Marty goes above and beyond this and does somehow live. He is a druggy but yet triumphs with only a few cuts and bruises, well done you.
Similar to Marty, You're Next breaks a fair few old horror rules too...a woman actually fighting back. A family go to a big house for some fun times and end up being picked off one by one – sounds normal enough, except there is one hell of a twist andddddd, a woman saving the day. Whoaaaaa, no damsel in distress here. Turns out Erin had been taught to fight and knew self defence and could literally kick the killers butts.
Gone in this film are all the woman just screaming, falling over and getting their boobs out – well, the first two of that list are in it, just not with Erin. Ever seen someone kill someone with a blender? No, well then you are missing out and obviously have not seen this.
What a good film Feast is. What a good, underrated film Feast is. And what a slap in the face it is too. First off, it is a good story, with basically a small town stuck in a bar while being hunted down by monsters, second off, you cannot hate the characters, each is original and the names of them are insane.
Such as Hot Wheels and Tuffy, who are the survivors of Feast. But why are they on this list I hear you say? Well, Feast is a clever film, as soon as the monsters attack, in walks the Hero, literally a guy called 'Hero' walks in to save the day...only to be pulled out the window and killed. Whoops. So, the likely hero is dead and left are the unlikely ones – Hot Wheels and Tuffy, who both help save the day, with no thanks to the Hero...
Technically, some would not count this as a full horror film, it’s like a kids horror film, it does have some scary moments but it is, after all, a family film. The main thing is though, it is a technically a horror film and Jim Evers is a very unlikely hero.
The Evers family are real estates who decide that the, (not known to them), Haunted Mansion, would be perfect to sell, but obviously without knowing the secrets inside its walls. Not only is the house haunted, by bad and good spirits, the owner thinks Jim's wife is his dead wife and wants her for himself. So many problems!
All of this not making the time spent here easy for Jim, or his wife or his kids, for one, it was his idea to go there in the first place, and not go straight to their family holiday... Kinda putting all the blame right on you, Jim, man. Jim has to step up and save his family, he was one of those knobs that only really cared about his work... until he came across zombies, green floating heads and ghosts. You strange hero, you.
And Jim is played by Eddie Murphy, who is known for comedy, so not the common horror hero either to be fair…
Heading back to an old classic here, and one of the first movies to really start off the whole zombie/walking dead craze; Night of the Living Dead. Basic story of zombies attacking the world, but one of the first of its time, and that makes it brave to start with. What also makes it brave is the hero of the film, and what he looks like.
Now, I am going by the typical rules of horror here, rules that aren't right, but still typical rules that everyone knows about horror like the virgin survives, or never to say “I'll be right back”. One typical rule is that anyone black in the film dies normally first, or at least doesn't live long. In Night of the Living Dead, Ben comes along, a young black man who saves the day. I won't mention the twist, but let's just say, he saves the day but not the morning. And he is black. It shouldn't be an unlikely thing, but it is in horror.
So Ben, for something that is fairly wrong, but is taken as harmless, you made the list.
This is a list of very unlikely heroes, as stated, and no more unlikely than one that is dead and slowly decomposing. An American Werewolf in London is about two friends, one gets killed by a werewolf and the other is turned into one, while also falling in love and trying to ignore the fact that he gets hairy every full moon.
Now, as there are two friends, and David is the main character, surely he must be the hero in this film? Nope. He's the last remaining werewolf, the killer and so the villain of the movie, technically. And not the unlikely hero in my eyes, as much as it kills me to say that, I count Jack as one more. David is the main character, so is the obvious hero, but he is the killer, Jack is the one who actually breaks the news to him that he is in fact the last werewolf and has to kill himself. And keeps saying that to him, keeps reminding him, it's a bit like when my mum goes out and keeps reminding me the cat is out. And then texts me to remind me. And then rings me to make sure I got the text and that the cat is out.
Jack is a lot like a mother, a scary mother but a mother at that. He keeps coming back, more and more decomposing and with the people David has killed in his hairy reigns as a werewolf – smart move Jack. All leading to David feeling pretty damn guilty, and Jack, pretty much, saving the day, even if he does smell pretty bad and not look too good either.
Cockneys Vs Zombies is a highly underrated movie, a film that is actually good when it has a bad sounding name, like Snakes on a Train, is a bad film and it sounds bad, this is not that type. It pretty much is about what it says on the tin, zombies attack the earth and we follow some londoners, or Cockneys as called here, who save the day. The Cockneys are a mixture of bank robbers, their hostages from the bank and some OAPS from an old peoples home – doesn't it sound brilliant?
So, zombies attack and they are fought off by some criminals, who started the day just robbing a bank, some innocent people who just wanted their money from said bank, and OAPs who just wanted to do whatever older people want to do in a nursing home – maybe sleep? Cue a whole load of learning how to fight, because the characters are kind of realistic in that they don't know how to fight, zombie killing, and some zimmer frames... Who ever thought heroes would have zimmer frames…?
Yet another underrated, but brilliant movie, Tucker and Dale Vs Evil, which, I must admit, is a little more difficult to explain than any other movie on this list. Tucker and Dale are holidaying in their little holiday home, when a bunch of teens come along and shake it up a little – basically. It's a very clever film that needs to be seen to be fully taken in, Tucker and Dale are made to look like the typical hillbilly killers, except, they are not. They are trying to help the group, even saving them in the end, when the friends are actually accidentally killing themselves. Again, as I said, it needs to be seen to be fully understood.
Teens fall into giant shredders, Tucker and Dale try and pull them out but are seen to be pushing them in, teens run away from a Tucker and Dale welding a chainsaw, warning them about bees, and run slap bang into a tree, impaling themselves. Comedy genius.
Everyone sees them as the killers, yet, Tucker and Dale are the friendliest, nice as pie guys, ever. Never judge book by its cover, guys. Never.
And number one goes to the most unlikely hero ever, in any horror film, a normal guy, with a normal job, who has messed up a bit, like us all – Shaun, from Shaun of the Dead.
Another zombie film, where the normality has to stand up and fight, the normality being Shaun. Shaun, who works in retail, whose relationship has just broken up and who spends his time on his butt watching TV and playing video games. Like all of us. If there was ever a character normal people could relate to, it was him. And he had to stand up and save his mum, his stepdad, his friends, and his ex and he did it.
Shaun should be an inspiration for us all, he has no special talents, he can't fight, he sells TVs for a living and he is single as anything – yet, he beats all the zombies, with a little help, but we won't hold him to that as it is right at the end. Oh, and he does in fact get the girl.
What an inspiration to us all! Let us all get off our sofas, off our butts, and fight zombies if they ever come.
I vote Shaun for Prime Minister. #shaunforprimeminister.
Now, by sidekicks, I mean people you wouldn't want to be stuck with in a horror film with... You want to survive, and these people really would not help you one bit...
I have a few obvious people in my head, but I'm going to shock you by surprising you with this first one...Rosemary from Rosemary's Baby! I know, a weird one, right?
The reason she is on here is because she is useless in this film, really really down right useless. She has pretty much no idea what is going on half the time, even when she has suspicion about what is going on and the neighbours. Her partner has some idea of weird things going on too, but he also doesn't do anything about it. He actually just forgets about it and just thinks she's mad.
Now, by this point, I know it sounds like the partner is the bad one as she is saying things are weird and he is the one ignoring her, but she is the one who has worked some of it out and doesn't act on it. She has all these ideas at the end, but doesn't do anything. Guy is pretty much gone and brainwashed, so he stands no chance, but she has one, she could escape.
But nope, she eats the food that she is sure isn't right and stays in that same apartment with her crazy neighbours, and surprise, is pregnant by the Devil... Nah..
This is the most obvious one on this list I would say, going from my most hated items and characters in horror films, and was meant for this list. This next one is going to be a fair picks, as they are all pretty similar. Off the bat, these entries aren't going to be that helpful, but people still get stuck with them in films.. Life is a bitch..
This entry is Kids. Kids are useless, so insanely useless and terrible and just nah, in horror films. The only good thing is they can fit into small spaces if need be - but sometimes they even bugger that up.
The first kid in this little entry, is Rachel from the new War of the Worlds, who literally spends the entire time screaming and crying. Before you say it, "that's a normal reaction from a child when aliens invade", yes, that might be so, but its still annoying. She doesn't have Tom Cruise in this at all, she's a brat and he is trying his best to keep her and her snotty but hot brother safe and neither could give a monkey's about him. She just screams and wants her horrible mum and strops... I would have literally left her behind..
Talking of leaving kids behind, her parents should have left this next one behind when they moved house. This is Sally from the new version of Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, and the reason I actually almost gave up on this film and hated it. Sally was so awful, I hated this film because of her, I literally could not stand her, she was just a selfish little child. She grassed someone up at some point and got them in trouble, she was nosey and she just wouldn't keep herself to herself. She would be told to stay away and she knew to, and to not get mixed up with the scary monsters, but no, she just couldn't help herself. Silly Sally.
I could go on and on about how I hate kids in horror films, and how awful and slow they tend to be, but I feel this is long enough on them, so to end this little section I will leave it with one of my most hated characters in all of horror history, so much so, my close friend got me a toy of him for Christmas as a very good joke... Carl from The Walking Dead. I literally hate this kid, ever since I started watching the show, I hated him. He is just a cocky little thing or will not do as he is told, he always has to do what he feels and wants to do, even if that means putting everyone in danger.
Back at the beginning of the show, you might have put it down to him being a young child and stress of the zombies and all sorts and hoped and assumed he would grow out of it.. Has he heck?! Only a few episodes he was running away trying to fight Negan. Stupid boy, listen to your dad and sit still!
Eleanor in The Haunting, the original one, is my next person on this list, as similar to everyone on this list, she does bugger all the entire film. She screams, she runs, if she sees a spirit she will just there and scream, waiting for someone, mainly a man, to come save her. And then I'm pretty sure she crashes into a tree at the end of the movie... for no reason. She really was not helpful and just writing this annoys me...
This has become a longggggg list. My bad. The last ones I couldn't find an exact film for it or an exact character for it, so this is just an all round one, all the cliche women in horror films who scream and fall over when they run - you know the ones I mean. But saying that, I wouldn't want to be with them in a horror film, but I don't mind them in horror films... The rest, I enjoyed less...
And I am not even getting started on the kid from The Badadook... That screaming brat.
Now, as you may have noticed, I have a fair few different opinions on horror, and some do differ from what the mass think. I have a feeling that most of this list will differ too... This is my list of the most overrated horror films ever...
Starting with a very well known 'classic' of a horror film, but one that I absolutely hate with a passion, Blair Witch Project. Anyone who ever talks to me or asked me about this film, straight away regrets it, because I rant and moan a lot about this film.
I hated it. I really really hated it when I watched it and still hate it. Some classic films grow on you, but nope, not this one. Some you can also see how they are a classic, even if you don't like them, this one I don't even feel that way about it. I, for one, feel the best thing about this movie is the build up for it and the way it was pushed and advertised, that was smart as anything. Making people think it was all real, so much so that you're nearly done for murder, bravo. But that is the only good thing about, the making of it.
Along the same lines as The Blair Witch Project, another film I hated, but that everyone seemed to love/pee themselves to, is Paranormal Activity. I sat down one Saturday night with the parents and we decided pull our socks up and finally watch what was described as one of the scariest movies ever... Even my mum didn't jump until the last second. It was disappointing to say the least, not my mum not jumping, the film...
Being told it was one of the scariest things ever, and then being made to wait for the entire film before anything remotely tense or scary to happen... Nooo.
It tried to make up tension throughout it, but that is all it did, make it up, it didn't work, found myself just waiting for things to happen and hating the characters. Who didn't?! You deserve a demon if you decide to egg it on and summon it. I hated this, the third is a lot better. If you want to watch one, go for three, I promise.
Now the next one is always a surprise to people, I hated Insidious. Hated it. I have given it numerous chances and everytime I just find myself twiddiling my thumbs, wishing I had chosen something else to watch. I just cannot get into it, and I don't know why, I can't really pick anything out about the film that is so hateable and bad, the story is good, the characters aren't horrendous, I like Patrick Wilson, but I just don't get on with this film.
I find that also really sad because of it is actually really well done and scary, such as the smiling people, I really do find them scary, but they are not enough to save the film I am afraid.
Leading on from Insidious, a film that I hate for reasons I don't know, is The Conjuring, again, another film I just don't like and can't get into for reasons unknown. I should like this film, I really should, I loved the TV show of The Enfield Haunting, and I love all the stories about Ed and Lorraine Warren, but nope. This film is a little different to the others though, some of it, I did actually like. I actually liked around the first half of it, and then somewhere around the middle, it turns to pot. Again, for reasons I do not know, everytime it happens too. I have yet to see the second one, so fingers crossed.
My next choice is one of my most hated films of all time, yet, everyone seems to love it. The Babadook. Do not even get me started on this carcrash of a film, I hated this with an absolute passion, and it annoys me too. It annoys me, well the characters do but I shall get onto that, it annoys me because it could have been so good, and so scary and it wasn't. Parts were, I grant that, the monster itself is scary and not something you'd want to see at night, and the news broadcast - do not even get me started on how creepy that is. The news broadcast is the scariest part of this film, the smile the mum gives out the window, will literally always be etched in my brain - I don't even know how it is possible to pull that creepy a face. And as I said, the monster is something you wouldn't want to bump into either.
So, "why do you hate this film?" I hear you ask, well, I hate it because it had so must potential that it just did not use, it could have been so scary, tapping into fears of the dark and monsters that we all have. I feel bad saying this, because people have worked so hard to get here, but my hate for the characters out did the scariness.
That's not saying anything on the acting, I used to act and it is one kick in the butt, so nothing bad said about that, more so the annoyance of the characters. And by annoyance, I mean I hated the characters, hated, could not stand them. The mum not so much, she was in way bearable, I didn't like her but compared to her child, she was my favourite person. And that is saying something.
The child is the worst person in the world, I know he is meant to be dealing with grief, but he is still an annoying little, hateable shit. He just screams, and screams and screams. If he doesn't get his way, he screams, if someone is not looking, he screams, if he is not getting attention, he screams. He is a bit like Dakota Fanning in War of the Worlds, but somehow worse. Enough said. I hated the kid. I am not a kid fan normally, but he really made me want to not have kids... I feel he is the main reason I hate this film, I actually can't watch it without wanting to chop my ears off...
So, there you have it, the movies that I find are really really overrated and mostly a load of bollocks. Most are ones that everyone loves, surprisingly... Whoops.
I did this idea a while back on my old, (RIP), website and I loved it. I forgot about it however, until my last review when I remembered about the lovely Dennis from Paranormal Activity. And I loved doing that article so I thought, why not, I shall do it again! Here goes! The hottest men in horror films, or at least some of them....
So, as I have mentioned him earlier, I shall start with the lovely, lovely Dennis. What can I say about Dennis, he is the perfect bloke in a way, he is very very good to look at, he is very very nice and he has that rom com sense of humour. And by rom com sense of humour, (which I made up literally this second.), I mean the couples you get in rom coms where the banter between them is the type you want and is obviously scripted but just flows. It's what you want in life even if you don't like rom coms much, like me. Dennis and his wife have this in the film, which pretty much makes you fall for him more, and he even wants to make a sex tape. Boy has balls.
He has the whole package, you feel like he could save you from paranormal stuff but also he would look good doing it. Yes, please, Dennis!
Really, if I hadn't mentioned Dennis in my last review, Freddie Prinze Jr would have been mentioned first, he is life long childhood crush, and I am not ashamed to admit that. And of course, the reason he is in this list is for I Know What You Did Last Summer and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer - which are both brilliant movies, before you say anything.
He has been my crush since I can remember, I would like to say since I saw the movie of Scooby Doo with him in it, but I feel it was even before then and I just don't remember. Anyway, he is in I Know What You Did Last Summer, one of my all time favourite films, and Ray, his character, is lovely. He is just a lovely bloke who comes to the rescue, nearly dying in saving the others. Swoon. And he looks amazing doing it, not sure if I prefer him with blonde or brown hair though... Double swoon.
Now, I am a massive fan of the tv show Supernatural, starring the lovely Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles, and I also feel like they should be married, or that they should always come as a pair. So, this part is dedicated to them, my favourite demon hunting brothers, who are both allowed on this article because of not only the brilliant Supernatual, but also because they have both done some pretty good horror films, both remakes and both, better than the original.
I shall go in alphabetical order, so start with Jensen Ackles, not only is he in Supernatural but he was also in the remake of My Bloody Valentine, about a town, who after a ten year anniversary of a massacre that happened there, the killer or a copy cat killer, comes back to wreck havoc again.
I think people might hate me and think I am not a horror fan for saying this, but watch them both and you'll agree; I proudly prefer this remake to the original, lots and lots more actually. This is not just because of Mr Ackles, the remake is gory, its corny, and it is everything you want in a horror film really. Ackles just adds to that, being that he is very very good looking and just has that character that straight away pulls you in, he is also a very good actor, who has the likability along with the mysterious-ness. Especially in this film. You don't know whether you'd have to sneak out of the house to see him or to bring him home to meet the family.
Heard the saying, the J2's aren't right until they are together? Nope, that's because I made it up, but it is true. You can't have Ackles without Padalecki, leading me to Jared Padalecki, the very tall buddy of Ackles. As I mentioned before, Jared Padalecki stars alongside Jensen Ackles, but has also done horror films, at least one more than Ackles. Jared Padalecki has been in at least two horror films, and one that could be considered a horror/thriller. Friday the 13th, House of Wax and then the horror/thriller Cry Wolf, where, surprisingly, both of the remakes were better than the non remake.
Now, without giving too much away about any of the spoilers in these films, I will say, unlike his pal, Mr Padalecki doesn't like to play the baddy and is definitely more of the hero. Jensen tries t0, but sometimes it just doesn't work for him... I love Friday the 13th and House of Wax, so for his entire to this list, I shall put forward both. One is about a killer at a campsite and one is about a group of people who get trapped in an old 'abandoned' town with a 'fake' wax museum. And as I said, both are much better than the originals in my eyes. And bith have added bonus' of these two lovely handsome buggers. (I swear I am not biased as I love the TV show Supernatual...)
Now, I know this is fairly long, and it will end soon. Soon. This is my last few, I promise, I think. I have two last ones in my head and I will try and keep them the ending... I will try.
One of them is Jake Weary, who was Tommy in Zombeavers, a brilliant film by the way, and also Hugh/Jeff in It Follows, so he also is doing very well in this list with two of them. Zombeavers is about, well, beavers that are zombies and sometimes people who become zombeavers too, and It Follows is about an unknown thing that follows people. He is hot in both, more so Zombeavers as in It Follows he gives the main character the thing', but in Zombeavers, he is funny and kind of smart and brave. He is also blonde and had stubble... A's in my books.
On to the last one, Derek Magyar who plays Todd in the horror film Train. A film about a group of people who go away and end up getting caught on a train, having to fight for their lives. Mainly because they are very very stupid and do not think, but Todd is in it and gets semi naked, so this does help make up for some of it. The film isn't that good and Todd doesn't do much else, actually, I think he might die fairly soon after this.. so yeah, there's Todd.
And this is my list, wow, turns out I like eye candy in films.. If you're lucky, I might also do a female one, because, we are all equal and females might feel left out. And, funny story, I finished writing this on the hottest day of the year in England too. Hot men, on a hot day.
This might surprise you, but I wasn't always a fan of horror films, I used to be pretty scared of them - mainly, as I called them, dead heads with the eyes open; aka, dead bodies with the eyes open. I used to be a bit of a wuss, and I used to watch CSI reflected in the kitchen window, I am a changed person now, but this is my list of ones that used to scare me... Used to... Oh, and these aren't all horror films or films, actually most aren't. They are mainly kids films or TV... obviously.
Thinking back to my amazing childhood, one of the moments that stands out as scaring me, which wasn't a lot, my parents didn't go out of their way to intend to scare me, but the main one that scared me was from the classic Disney cartoon, Pinocchio. Ahh, now you're with me, wait, but you might think it's the other scene... The scene I am not talking about here is the one where all the young boys are violently turned into donkeys, made to smoke and drink, and then pushed onto a boat for god knows what... Okay, I have made this scene sound scary... But this is not the scene, and I am going off cue...
The scene that did actually scare me, and still scares me now, I am embarrassed to add, is the part when Pinocchio and Gepetto are out at sea and get attacked by Monstro the Whale. I always had in my head that it was the Disney cartoon version of Monstro that scared me, but actually, having done my research and googled it, the live action scares me too. The live action one, being a film that I have not seen in donkeys. No Pinocchio pun intended..
Monstro just scares me it turns out, I love whales, they are some of my favourite animals, but the way he attacks the little raft, scares me. Even just looking at photos gives me the shivers - I'm sure he is a lovely whale normally, but those scenes of him jumping out the water and such, nope. And googling it, I am not the only one... It's good I am such a fan of things that live in the water...
My next one, is probably even less horror movie than the first one, but is probably less well known too. I have only ever known literally one or two people I know to know this film; this film is Dot and The Kangaroo. Heard of it? Nope, didn't think so. It's a brilliantly clever and underrated film, about a girl who is friends with a kangaroo. Not scary sounding so far, I hear you say, which is true, the film as a whole isn't a really scary film, tense but not scary.
The reason this film is on here is because of one song off here, and that song is the Bunyip song. Now, if you don't know what a Bunyip is, here comes a load of useless knowledge from me, you're welcome... A Bunyip is a large mythical Australian creature that lurks in places such as caves and swamps and can be a bit of a nasty piece of work. So, from that description, you do wonder why it was put into a kids movie.... Saying that though, I am definitely not against scaring kids..
This song has lines such as "the bunyips going to get you", and "so you better get out quickly".. Lyrics that aren't terrifying at all, all to cave drawings of people running from a ghost like creature, mostly slowly appearing out of water. I feel I am not selling this well, it is a seriously underrated movie, with a scary moment that all kids should see.
And I learnt another word for a Platypus off here, so there, it's a learning experience too...
Okay, now onto something really scary...The Magic Roundabout. To be specific, The Magic Roundabout, Dougal and The Blue Cat. Dougal and the Blue Cat is about the old gang, when a new arrival comes along, Buxton the blue cat, who likes to talk to the blue voice and other strange things the gang aren't a fan of.
Now, I must be honest, I have not watched this film in years, literally years, so I can't really remember any of it, except this scene, and even this scene is a little fuzzy... The scene in question is basically Dougal standing in the dark with a blue tinge, in front of a backdrop of houses. It doesn't sound creepy, but I promise you, it really is. He stands there, and lights in the houses start coming on and going off and you hear the pretty damn terrifying Blue Voice just whispering and muttering in the background... Not creepy at all.
I recently bought this film to re-watch it, and yet, I still have not... What reason I haven't though, is unknown...
I have realised that there are pretty much no horror films on here...but all of them still make you feel the same way as actual horror films, so I think it can be allowed.
The next one though, is down the horror route, it is just a kids show but with a horror twist... But is an unexpected one. The next one is an episode of The Powerpuff Girls, the episode Abracadaver, about a magician who, after being taunted, dies after one of his shows and is brought back to life after the theatre where he is lying is knocked down, and starts to bring terror to Townsville.
Already, you can see there is a zombie in this, a zombie, in the Powerpuff Girls, and he is a scary one, if you don't see it coming, it is literally like one of the early episodes of The Walking Dead. Al Lusion, (yes, that is the magicans name!!! Kids shows are so so clever.), appears after them watching a zombie film and just does brings havoc.
I really would like to watch this episode again, I remember where I was when I first saw it was that good, down the road and at some of my closest friends... Good times! Being scared as a child. My favourites.
I sense a theme here, a theme of kids cartoons, following the Powerpuff Girls, follows Scooby Doo, two actually. The first is from Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, where the gang go to investigate a creepy house and some creepy towns people on a Louisiana bay.
Not only, are the creepy people there secretly cat people, there are also zombies, clawing their ways out of the ground all around them. Andddd, this film is also, for a cartoon, very very realistic, so not only are zombies trying to eat people, and people are getting a bit furry, it could be out of an actual horror film. A horror film with an insane soundtrack.
My second Scooby Doo one is from an old episode, Haunted House Hang-Up, which is from the second series, ever! So an old one. This episode really pulled on my fears of the unknown, and the unknown of noises and lights, down corridors and big houses and such, not aliens. The gang are heading to a rock concert when they hear about a haunted house and decide to take a look.
This entire episode is about a mysterious light walking around a house, and just not knowing and then random noises, I find that creepy and I still do. It's the thing that scares me in the most basic way and ends in the biggest anti climax ever. This episode does not need any more on it... I am getting scared...
This is longer than I had planned, but my last one is a little horror, Deep Blue Sea, and is basically when a dead body gets stuck under the water and jumps out to scare the poop out of everyone. When I was young, and saw this, I used to think that the teddies at the end of my bed was the dead body.. simple as. Not logical but simple.
THIS IS LONG. I am so so sorry, but I got carried away. Anyway, what scared me as a child, yay!
Very recently, I had a hard time writing about remakes that sucked and that I down right hated, and when I say hard time, I mean it was much more difficult than I had originally thought, turns out I don't mind a lot of them, and this list will mention, I hope, at least a few of them.
When I think of remakes, and ones I love, I immediately think of the remake of The Fly. The original is alright, it's not a great film, but it's also not terrible, it's just okay. You watch it once and you've seen it. Whereas the remake, the remake, gosh! The remake blows me away, every time. Not only is it a brilliant story, with brilliant actors, and it throws in a not very sickly love story too, it has some of the best gore in it. It also has much more depth than the original, you care more and get to know the characters more - the new one is a lot more thought out. I feel I shouldn't really compare them, as they are two films, in two different times, but one is a remake, so here, I think it is accepted.
This remake I might lose some readers over, I probably will actually, because a lot hate it and would disagree with what I am about to say.. This number is Friday the 13th, and, my next part, you might want to sit down for this, I actually enjoyed the new one more than the original.
Now everyone knows that this film is about, a camp in the summer, where most turn up dead by a mysterious killer, and this is the same in both films - give or take a few details. The first one is set in a camp site, like the normal summer slasher movie, whereas the new one is at a rich kids summer house, both work, I don't prefer one over the other location wise, or really story wise. Take out everything of each film, and just give me the screenplay or script, and I would like them both the same, but add in everything and the new one is hands down better in my eyes.
I feel the new one has, in some ways, better acting, taking out all of the acting boobs, as this goes on boobs and sex a fair bit, but mainly, the thing that holds this film above the original; the gore and the death. The reason I love slasher movies like this is the gore and the death, I love waiting to see original deaths, and this has plenty. I also love tension, but mainly I watch slashers for the death - and this one does not let you down. The originals gore and death has dated a little, so if you want gore, steer from the classic.
Another one that is very similar to the above film, and might have the same reaction is my next choice, and one that is here for pretty much the same reasons; House of Wax. House of Wax is about a group of people who find an old wax museum, only to find it has a pretty grim secret, and like Friday the 13th, I prefer the new one to the original. And for pretty much the same reasons, the gore and death is a lot better than the original, and that is some of the reasons I watch slasher films like this.
I feel bad saying this all, as the originals are classics but if I think about which I would rather watch right now, it would be the new ones, hands down. And that might or might not be helped with Jared Padalecki being in both... Nahh, doubt it, he's an ugly mug... If you turn your back from him..
Now, everyone loves Ryan Reynolds, (just go and watch Deadpool if you don't.), so, a lot may have seen the remake of the Amityville Horror just for him, I know at least one person who did.. Pushing him aside though, sorry Ryan, the new one is not a bad film.
A family move into a new house, and strange things start to happen, making them believe it could be haunted. See what I said there, haunted, this film was said to have been haunted and I was about to go on about how the new one might be a little better than the original. NOT A CHANCE. I do not want to be cursed in anyway, let's go with the fact that both are good films. And one is an old classic and one is a good remake - and cross fingers no one is cursed.
This list has become a lot bigger than I had imagined, so, you'll be pleased to know, one more installment to come; the not so much better than the originals, but the okay or on parr... The remakes you don't mind.