I have not been camping in years, and that last time I went was for one night and was not exactly in the middle of nowhere. Why is this? I feel the cold, could be that, or I just like seeing my friends somewhere warm, or that, or even that I love the sweet feeling of a proper toilet under me - probably more that to be fair thinking about it... Orrrrr, orrrr, getting back on track, it could be the fact that I don't want to be murder in some horrible way while camping.
Horror films are not a massive fan of camping, mainly young people camping and especially ones who drink, do drugs or have sex. Killers are a fan of them though, being they get super busy as soon as tents are pitched in horrors.
Lets get onto something that everyone tends to have a worldly love for; sex. Sex is everyone and everyone is involved, everyone has been made in someways using some type of sex, if anything. But, sex is bad in horror films, especially when you mix it with the vulnerability of tents, similar to condoms, they are just plastic, but probably weaker than condoms, and less helpful. The first couple to die in one of the all time classic camping movies, Friday the 13th, had sex and didn't notice Jason drowning. Bad move guys, kill a kid but also lead the way for hundreds of other horny kids to die throughout the seven plus films.
And to die in the most original ways may I add, two good things about dying after sex, one, you go out with a bang, literally, and two, you will die in a pretty original way. Take Part 7, couple about to partake in some hanky panky, he disappears, she does the known mating call, and Jason arrives. Dragging her out in a sleeping bag and slamming her against a tree. Orrrrrrr, if you'd rather, how about being burnt alive in your sleeping bag like in the new one?
Unluckily for the couple in Cabin in the Woods, they didn't even get to the deed before they were found by whatever mysterious creatures the men above decided upon. Literally, there was grinding and boobs were out, Chris Hemsworth was happy as Larry, and BOOM mysterious creature came and attacked them before anything. Which was, must I say, a very clever move, a little risky, but clever.In older horror films, most of the time characters never got as far as having actual sex, mainly just foreplay, which isn't a bad thing, but it is if you aren't going to be alive after it... You'd rather go out with a bang, right?! Cabin in the Woods is also another film that puts you off camping, group of friends go away to a cabin to have some amazing fun, (sounds good right?!), only to be hit with a bucket full of different monsters.
The people in Cabin in the Woods have the dream escape, until the dying of course and aren't even safe with staying in a cabin! Camping takes no prisoners.
Sleepaway Camp is a very good example, like Friday the 13th, on why summer camps are a very bad idea. Again, they stay in cabins, yet, still end up being murdered. And this is all because they are out camping, I am amazed there was anyone left at the end of this film to witness the amazing twist as a lot die in this. And, just saying, they would all still be alive if they had just stayed home. Stayed home and stayed sober and also virgins.
Going camping also tends to leads to original deaths, sleeping bags, tents, showers, arrows through a bed, the lot. So if anything, and you have to go camping, least you have fun little death, or you get laid first, normally one of the two. So there you go kids, still fancy camping?